Reviewed by Larry

"The Church" depicts a man's visit to a scene of other-worldly death and terror that is some 160 years old. I liked the premise of this story, and marvel at the imagination required to write such work. I get the feeling this is a small portion of a larger piece - if so I hope to read the rest at some point and have all the blanks filled in because I am incapable of conjuring up such vivid schemes.

Though the story is compelling, it left me with the impression that the author either doesn't trust his own ability to craft mood and suspense, or doesn't trust the reader to interpret correctly. There are many examples in this story where the author creates very effective mood (Daggers of glass hung in the shattered windows, the fangs of a leviathan -- VERY GOOD), then dashes them by telling us how we should feel, (.but the sense of foreboding and terror that had been rising and falling in the church was still strong - NOT VERY GOOD). After creating ominous and frightful scenes, there is no need to tell us the character is scared or nervous. SHOW US! Also, there is also far too much introspection on the part of the character; too much simpering and speculation.

Show, don't Tell, is the first rule of fiction. The sentence for contravening this rule is a re-write.