The Hatch
This is a tale about a person accepting a duty that might end in death. The protagonist, parents and spouse are the last people left alive in a Mars colony. The colony appears to have been invaded by a bloodthirsty (warlike?) race of 4-foot insectoids. The protagonist must destroy the aliens by blowing up the colony. They are not sure whether the aliens have already made it to Earth, but they have to try to stop them anyway, or the family will be killed. Does the hero save the family? Does the hero survive? Read the story to find out!
This review may seem unkind, but it is not intended that way. I think the teller of this tale has a genuine ability to tell an exciting, fast-moving action tale. You want to ride along with it and find out what happens. There are passages of good, stirring action, and the suspense is maintained right to the climax.
I do think that the flow of the story could be improved, and that there are some incongruities that drag the reader (me, I mean) away from the story and 'spoil the mood'. One of these is where Yager (the hero) pictures himself dying, writhing in horrible agony. The author comments "not pleasant", which breaks the mood, destroys the tension. Pardon my cliche, but maybe something like "His mind recoiled from the thought" would work better. A problem I had with the central action theme is that for ravening predators, the aliens are unbelievably flimsy. Obviously, they 'need' weak points so that the hero can get stuck into them, but they also have to be worthy enough opponents that we can believe they are capable of destroying the colony and massacring its inhabitants. Carapaces that conquer colonies don't crack just because you bang them together.
The hero's reactions to pain also pulled me out of the story at times. Sometimes the hero is a real Stoic, sometimes he's a real wimp. For example, he winces in pain when his ankle is ripped from its socket, although earlier he screams when he loses a chunk of flesh from his leg. I confess that my bio-medical background is showing, but even in the reduced Martian gravity, it is hard to picture someone hobbling around on a badly dislocated ankle; and the description of the effect of boiling water on the human leg does not ring true. I think one could have a ball describing just how excruciating and horrible-looking such an experience would be, but the hero would not be able to pull up his pants leg (it would be welded to the blisters), and rubbing it is totally out of the question.
For me, the story would flow better without the flashbacks. They slow the story down without adding anything necessary to make the story go. In a fast action short story, isn't it better to keep the pace up so that the reader gets to the climax thoroughly primed for the big finish? For all my fault-finding, I think this is a pacy action adventure and a good read.
Reviewed by © Ian
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