Lightning From The Dark

slowly crawled into the alley, behind me, a trail of blood. At one time I expected to end up like this, but not now, not now.....

"Jake, didn't I tell you to get your tail in here before 9:00pm."

"Awe lay off ma. You can't tell me what to do. The Red Eagles are my gang and in this neighborhood they rule."

"Well they don't rule my house you hear me? I got ten children, and no gang is going to tell me how to raise them. You come in late again you'll be switched!"

" And if you touch me old lady you'll be sorry!"

" And if your stupid gang touches Ma I'll blow off all your fool heads and you know I mean it!"

The look on Lonnie's face told me he was not kidding. Older than me by a few years, at 16 Lonnie was the man of the family since eldest Jessie went to jail. I idolized Jessie, but I knew when not to mess with Lonnie.

"Well she best not go bossing me around anymore" said Jake as he stalked out into the streets again.

Jake was big for his age, at almost twelve he wore an attitude like a shield of armor. It was the only way he knew to survive. The members of the Red Eagles were family, but what of his mother who worked 12 hours a day cleaning floors, and his brothers and sisters, they too were family. Often the welfare of one, and the desires of the other conflicted, and Jake was caught in the middle. Yes Jake ran into the night, but he soon would discover he could not run from himself, or his destiny

"Jake you've got a good mind, why don't you apply yourself?" Mr. Davis, my 6th grade teacher worried about me. He thought I was one of the brightest students he had ever taught. He was always hassling me about the streets. Mr. Davis was rare, he was a teacher who really cared. Some teachers said they cared, but Mr. Davis meant it and lived it daily. He had been at Stanton Middle School fifteen years fighting the system. Most teachers left Stanton as soon as they could transfer. Mr. Davis was one of the last truly dedicated teachers. Despite my appearance I respected the man.

" Jake do you hear me? Boy you could really go far. Why don't you try?"

" There's no point, besides Red Eagles don't study or do homework. That's for chumps!"

" Most of the Red Eagles are stupid,"

"Don't talk about my gang like that man."

" But you're not. Where do you think you'll be in ten years?"

" Dead!"

"What makes you say that?"

" Cause my dad is dead, my brother is in jail, it's fate man. I'll be dead, so why bother? Why try?"

" Suppose I told you, your mind could give you a better life. Is there anything you really want?"

"Yeah, ....a Ferrari."

"Well one day you could have that Ferrari, if you do well in school."

" Yeah, you're dreaming. Man you got an education and I don't see you with no Ferrari. Man we got pimps in my neighborhood who live better than you. I seen you drive that second hand Chevy, so don't tell me about no education."

"You are right Jake, but you have the potential to do things I never dreamed of doing. Let your mind dream, than follow that dream. Tomorrow I want to see homework, GOT IT! You got that Jake."

" Yeah man I got it."

Next thing old man Davis will be telling me I should go to college. That old man is crazy. In ten years I'll be dead.

"Mrs. Williams, Jake's got a real chance. Although his grades are poor, St. Anthonys Prep in Nebraska is willing to give his a chance because his I. Q. is so high. He'll get a full scholarship, room and board on a trial basis for one year. If he does well they will renew it. I don't mind telling you I had to really fight for Jake,"

" No one asked you to man"

"Hush up Jake."

" But, as I was saying I believe if we can get him off the streets there is no limit to what he can accomplish."

" I ain't going nowhere. Sure Davis I did you dam homework, but you ain't getting my mom to send me away. You probably just want me out of your class."

Mr. Davis shook me. I can still hear him....

"Young man there are a lot of easier ways to get you out of my class if that was my objective. Remember you told me you thought you would be dead in ten years. Well this is your chance son, don't turn your back. Go for your dreams."

Mama sat in silence. Mr. Davis had requested this conference. She had expected the usual bad reports about me. Instead this man was offering me an opportunity. Possibly the opportunity of my life. Lonnie stood by.

"You send him mama, don't listed to him. You send him."

" I don't care what you say, I ain't going, and you keep your dam nose out of my business."

Mama looked at me. I could not tell what she was thinking. For the first time I noticed how tired she looked, Her eyes were sad. When she spoke after what seemed like a long silence I thought she was going to cry.

" You make the arrangements Mr. Davis. Jake will go."

" You can't make me, I'll run away. I told you I ain't going."

" If I have to hog tie you and carry you, you will go" said Lonnie.

I remember thinking my mom, and my brother were the worst people in the world, and Mr. Davis was right behind them.

"You must be Jake Williams?"

" Yeah."

"I'm Hank Logan." Hank extended his hand which I chose to ignore.

"Yeah."

" Well where's your luggage tags so we can collect your things?"

" Ain't no tags, this here bag is all there is."

" OK, lets go. Say Jake what do you like to do?" Do you play basketball, or baseball?"

"No."

" Would you like to learn.?"

"Look man I don't plan on staying around long enough to learn nothing."

"Anything."

"Uh?"

"Anything. You don't plan on staying long enough to learn anything, not nothing."

"Yeah, whatever."

" And see you're wrong."

"About what?"

"About not learning anything. You already learned better grammar."

"Yeah, right."

"Our boys live in cottages. We have twelve boys to a cottage, and a director. There are twenty cottages on campus they are all full. How many students do we have?"

"Who cares."

"Come on I bet you can figure it out it's easy."

" I need a pen and paper."

"No you don't just think."

"I can't do no math in my head."

"Yes you can, just think what's 2 times 12?"

"24"

"OK, so just add a zero to get twenty times 12."

"240?"

" Yes that's right, 240, and that makes you wrong twice."

" Huh?"

" You have learned two things at St. Anthonys so far and you've only been here 30 minutes."

"Yeah, whatever."

I sat in silence for the rest of the ride. Hank turned on the radio, but continued to tell me about the school.

"Well Jake here we are. You're in Truman cottage. All the cottages are named after a president. Your director is Nathan Booth. He's a really great guy. You'll like him."

"Yeah."

I looked at the neat two story framed house. Around the outside was a row of flowers and a large tree provided shade. The air was scented with honeysuckle, and the sun was just about to go down. Before Hank could knock a young boy about seven opened the door.

"Hey Hank, we've been waiting for you. This the new kid, hi I'm Jerry. Welcome to Truman cottage."

I was unaccustomed to the friendliness of the young man who greeted me.

"We allow boys of different ages to live with one another. That way the younger ones can learn from the older boys. It also seems more like a family."

I was unimpressed.

" Truman cottage has boys ranging from seven to fourteen. So you should fit right in."

"Yeah, right."

" Well this must be Jake. I'm Nathan Booth the director here at Truman."

" Hello."

Again I ignored the hand being extended.

" Let me show you around, On the main level we have the kitchen and dining area. Over here is our general purpose recreation room, living room and T.V. room. That small room off to the side is our computer and library room, and we are very proud of our music room. All out boys do something musical."

" I don't play nothing, and I ain't gonna sing like some fagot."

" We don't use that kind of language around here, and your aptitude test show you have music ability. That is why you were placed in Truman. Each cottage has a specialty area. Anyway you will learn that's why you're here. We'll talk about it tomorrow. Hey, would somebody call Rob?"

"Yes Sir?"

" Oh there you are Rob. This is your new roommate Jake Williams."

"Hi."

"Yeah, hi."

"Would you take him upstairs and help him get settled. Also explain the rules around here so he doesn't start off on the wrong foot."

"Ok Nate, Come one Jake, where's the rest of your stuff?"

"That's all I got. I ain't staying long."

" Oh, well come on..... This is it."

The room Rob led me to was about as big as two rooms in my apartment. Everything was set out in twos. The walls were lime green and there was a private bath. It was very clean for a boys room.

" Stow your stuff over there. The schedule for the day is always posted on the back of the door. You make your bed and leave your area straight before breakfast. We alternate weeks cleaning the bathroom."

" And suppose I don't?"

" That's simple, you don't eat. Nate checks rooms before breakfast."

"Fight! Fight!"

"OK boys what's this one about? Jake? Alan? Well you had to be fighting about something?"

Blood dripped from Alan's nose, his eye already beginning to turn a bright purple color, but he stood silent. At that moment I had a grudging respect for him.

" OK Alan you go and get cleaned up, I want to talk to Jake."

" That's right it must be my fault because precious Alan would never start a fight."

" That's enough of your sarcasm Jake this is the fourth fight you have had in six weeks."

" You gonna send me back?"

" You'd like that wouldn't you? If that's your plan young man forget it, and if you want to fight so bad come with me." I'll never forget how Nathan hauled me across the campus to the gym.

"Here put these on."

" Boxing gloves? What for man? I don't need no dam gloves. Ouch! Man that's my mouth, what did you do that for?"

" I told you to watch you language."

" No fair man, I ain't gonna fight you. I'm just a little kid remember, this is child abuse. Ouch man what's wrong with you?"

" You didn't let size stop you when you fought little Pete Matthews last week."

" That was different man that little creep took the last piece of cake and he knew I wanted it."

" How? Mind Reading."

"Ouch! No man I announced it to everyone that piece of cake was mine."

"He got it first."

" Yeah and I got him last."

" Ouch! look man you quit poking me, I'll have your job."

" What's the matter Jake you can't take it?"

" I can take anything you and anyone else in this chicken outfit can dish out. I ain't afraid of anything."

" Then you are a fool because everyone is afraid of something. I know what you are afraid of, and it's not the whipping I could give you."

" OK you're so wise, what is it?"

" You are afraid to try because you're afraid you'll fail, or maybe you're afraid you'll succeed, because if you succeed a lot of your ideas are garbage and you know it. What's that gang of yours the Red Eagles. They don't want you to succeed. They already know if you succeed you don't need them and you just may figure that out for yourself."

" That ain't true man."

"Yes it is and I think you know it. You're a sap if you don't."

" Who you calling a sap man I don't care how big you are I'll get you."

"That's right Jake hit me. Get all that anger out. What are you angry about Jake? Come on you're a big man surely you can tell me what you are angry about." I continued to pommel Nathan. He just stood there, One minute he was taunting me, the next he was trying to make me talk. It seemed I could not hit him enough.

" I hate you! I hate you dammit!"

" You don't hate me Jake, not really."

" Yes I do! I hate you, I hate my dad, I hate Jessie, I hate Lonnie, I hate my mom and I hate Mr. Davis. I hate all you bastards."

I hit Nathan until I couldn't hit anymore. I stood in front of him unaware that tears were rolling down my cheeks.

" Now Jake can we talk. You're angry because you think all those people have deserted you. They sent you here because they love you son."

"Bull, and I'm not your son."

"They don't want the streets to claim you. I'll make you a bet. What do you want most?"

" To go home."

"OK, If you give St. Anthonys' a real try. I mean try hard in you classes and to get along with the other boys at the end of the term I will send you home. You hear me I will pay for it. Then it will be up to you and you alone to decide if you come back."

" What's the catch?"

"No catch Jake, you have to choose a better way of life, nobody can choose it for you. Here's my hand on it."

We shook hands man to man. That was the handshake that changed my life. From that handshake I learned one important thing. A man is only as good as his word.

"I can't believe you are graduating. Oh Jake I'm so proud of you."

" Awe Ma, don't go getting mushy on me."

"It was a piece of cake once Jake learned to stop fighting himself, and I must admit it took a couple of swats upside this guys head."

Nathan embraced me. To think after that first term I almost didn't come back. Lonnie, if there's a God he must bless Lonnie for helping to straighten me out. He swore if I didn't go back he'd kick my but everyday. I'm glad I'll never know if he was serious.

" Jake! Congratulations my boy. I knew you could do it."

" Mr. Davis, I'm really glad you came. I'm going to college, got a full scholarship to Northwestern State."

" That's wonderful Jake, you'll get that Ferrari yet."

I saw Mr. Davis smile, I knew he was proud of me. Heck I was damn proud of myself. The first one in our family to finish high school, and now I was going to college. Yeah, I just may get that Ferrari.

" Mr. Davis there are just no words. I gave my child life, but you gave him a life. Thank you."

" There's no need for thanks Mrs. Williams watching Jake achieve and mature over the years has been the highlight of my career."

" Uh, folks we'd better get a seat or we'll miss the ceremony."

With that Nathan herded everyone into the auditorium. They are almost up to my name. There goes Watson, next Wilkins, then....

" Jacob Luther Williams"

Gees they used my full name. My Diploma, it says Jacob Luther Williams, no I mean it reads Jacob Luther Williams. How about that!

Mom will sure be surprised me coming home from college for her birthday. I had to save all year to afford the trip, but it was worth it. The old neighborhood looks the same. I hope she likes the camera I got for her. Still kids hanging out on the corner. Nothing changes. Hell that's not true, I changed, I used to be one of the kids hanging on the corner. Now I've got a life and it's all.......

" Hey man got a light."

" Uh? no I don't smoke."

" Where ya going man?"

" What's in the box?"

" Yeah man, what's your hurry?"

" Look guys I don't want no trouble I'm just going up the block to visit my mom."

" Oh you hear that he's going to visit his Mommy."

" Let us carry the box for you man."

" Hey you got a wallet?"

" Aw quit wasting time, snuff him."

"Look my name's...."

" We don't care what your name is"

I felt pain and the sidewalk greeted my face. Help, help, I don't know if I am saying it or thinking it. It doesn't matter, nobody pays attention to help in this neighborhood. I'm going to die, and no one will ever know what happened to my. No one was expecting me. No wallet, John Doe grave, pain,...had my whole life...only nineteen....

"Is he breathing?"

" I don't know. I think so, he's awfully bloody."

" We better get somebody."

" Mama, mama, we found a man in the alley. He's full of blood call 911. Mama!"

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