Reviewed by Ian

A woman is impregnated by her lover who then suicides. She develops an obsession about the baby being evil and is institutionalised for her trouble. Her social worker tries to help her.

This is the second story I have reviewed this week that is an interesting variation on a theme - this time Rosemary's Baby. Good story structure, suspense and (blessings on your head Shaakira) it looks like it has been proof-read-I won't get picky about how you spell Benedict (and I accept that 'color' and 'hemorrhaging' are appropriate ways for our American colleagues to spell 'colour' and 'haemorrhaging', even if my spell checker objects). But... in the guestbook, not long past, Zalman V wrote a large, colourful, and in my opinion, justified, comment to Josh Koury that said 'Write about what you know about'. I completely agree with this as it relates to feelings, the way people interact, and life experience (as someone has pointed out, none among us is qualified to write about intergalactic empires on the basis of experience). Otherwise do the hard work, the research. Find out how these things really work. What can be improved in this story is the treatment of the health professionals. A health professional does not say to a patient in a psychiatric ward 'you must be crazy' Apart from being a gratuitous value judgement, it is a closed statement and therefore not going to elicit an insightful response from the patient. Never mind that, I see that the story is counter-balancing the orthodox medical approach with the real but inexplicable problem the pregnant woman has. Also, I think you might find that assessments are done on a team basis (which would allow you to have the necessary interaction between the attending doctor - a psychiatrist on a psych ward, by the way - and what you choose to call a social worker). You have given the social worker lines that might have come from a clinical psychologist of the Freudian school, but not of a social worker. Are you sure your character should be a social worker? It seems unlikely. I have given you a deal of feedback here, Shaakira, because you could make a story of this, but you are asking your readers to believe the mother's POV on the nature of the baby. To do this better, make the rest of it so real that no-one gets distracted from your idea.