October Showers

t rained intensely. It was a cold and rude autumn day, dark and worrisome. Natalia walked speedily. Patrick followed her without complaining. You could hear their heavy boots resounding in the regular noise of the rain. The day had been rather calm, because fights were scarce. She gave Patrick a nervous look, to insure he was still there. With a quick and precise move, she took a cigarette from the small bumpy metallic box that always contained some. With a single hand, she lit it. She drew the smoke deep inside and blew it out towards the sky. The night had fallen a few hours before, succeeding to the few hours of daylight they could enjoy in those times. Natalia gazed at the ruins of a building that probably stood relatively tall in the past.

In the past, before Chaos came. Natalia thought furtively a few instants; she effectively had some memories from that era, when the Light was much more with them, but she had mostly lived after the War and during the Darkness. Suddenly, she remembered an episode from her tumultuous childhood. They had hit her violently. She fell on the ground, and her dress had been torn apart seconds later. They must have been a dozen badly shaved men, from which a putrid odor emanated. They raped her for many hours while she raged and swore to one day avenge herself. When they had all been satisfied, they had beaten her horribly and left her for dead in what had been once been a gigantic building. Building whose ruins symbolized so excruciatingly the sadness of the post-War world in which they were all so deeply stuck.

The Light, which lit each and everyone with its universal goodness, had lost the eternal combat it had always fought against the Darkness. The hearts of men were dark as coal, those hearts that were, oh so long ago, courageous and filled with honor. Natalia thought about these two concepts, gone for centuries already. She also thought they would never resurface, in an anarchic world torn apart by the constant wars the clans fought, and dominated by infinite hatred. Even her clan, even Patrick was like that; the torments of a War that became unavoidable as time marched on, inexorable and deadly, haunted all of them. Billions had died and the world she lived in was a relic of an ancient hate that perpetuated now and forever. Inside her burned that same vengeful fire. Of the twelve men that raped her, a long time ago, she had killed eleven. A tear slowly found its way down her delicate face, devastated by the scars of time and War.

A bullet whistled a few centimeters past her head. Instinctively, she dived and hid behind a statue that didn�t have a chest anymore, Patrick imitating her a fraction of a second later. �A little more and that was it! Could you be nice enough and tell me in what kind of a daydream you were, again?�, he said.

Without answering, she got up and unloaded her weapon towards their opponent. A dull thud, that of a dead man collapsing on the ground, was heard. They started walking immediately. �I�m sorry�, she said.

A few minutes later, they were back at the encampment of their clan. A weak fire danced in an old rusty barrel. A fine rain was falling and Cedric, about sixty years old and the elder of the clan, drew closer to Natalia while Patrick was comforting himself by the fortune fire.

�So, how was the patrol?�, he whispered in his hoarse voice.

- One man fired on us. I killed him easily. Nothing else to report, she answered.

- I don�t like it. Something is going on. The other clans have been much too quiet lately.

- Possibly. Or maybe they�re considering a truce.� He burst out in laughter, gave her a bit of bread and some water and went away. Inside herself, she truly hoped one such day would come. But she knew full well that that would never happen. The future seemed as dark as the skies that night.

Clouds filled the gray sky, announcing rain again. Natalia�s sleep had been particularly troubled by horrible nightmarish visions. She jumped when Patrick woke her up gently. She regained full consciousness quickly, grabbed her gun and signaled him that she was ready to begin her sentinel duty. Surprise-attacks occurred so often that it was imperative for each clan to have a guard at any given time. Her long hazel hair was tangled from the agitated night of sleep she had just quit. She lit a cigarette and the first drag of the mix of tobacco and marijuana relaxed her instantly. While patrolling in the fresh morning air, she was still thinking about the ideas she had had the night before. Peace, honor, courage, love: things she barely knew but that she caught herself hoping for already. Suddenly, she saw what seemed like a book on the wet ground. She grabbed it: �The Light�. After a short time, she decided to keep it without reporting it to the other members of the clan. If they found out about this, she would certainly be raped and beaten, but she decided it was worth taking the risk.

After her sentinel duty, she decided to make love with Patrick. That way, she could chase away all those strange thoughts that haunted her since their last patrol. She hadn�t slept with him in over a week. She didn�t want it to happen during her sleep the following night. She�d always rather be awake when she did it. They reached a dark corner, apart from the principal encampment.

Instinctive act and primitive need, their bodies seemed to ignite with a burning passion without limit nor end. They acted with grace and beauty. Desire and passion bewitched them, and during such times, a Light shone brightly and wrapped them in a halo of purity devoid of hatred, mythical island quivering amidst a sea forever gone mad, where the wind blew with fury. In her head, she still heard all the different voices, as if they were all unique and separate souls of an ancient society, repeat the same words since she took the book:

�Let the Light guide you. Love and worship the Light, infinite source of Life and Hope. The Light is in you. It shall be always. Never let the Darkness swallow you. The Light shall vanquish.�

Later during that day, she made sure no one saw her, threw the book in the fire and spit on it. The voices ceased to echo in her head. She sat on an old burnt automobile, crossed her legs and lit a cigarette. Cedric suddenly appeared from the surrounding Darkness and sat besides her. �I saw you when you threw the book in the fire. I don�t know why, but I�m not in a mood to tell the others�, he said.

- You want to have sex?, she answered abruptly

- No, no, no. It�s just that I feel very generous today.

- That�s quite surprising coming from you, Cedric.

- I feel something yet unknown but I am not afraid. But don�t hope for too much, dear Natalia. If I see you throwing another non-reported object into the fire, especially a book, I will kill you with my bare hands�, he whispered tenderly in her ear while gently caressing her breasts with his mutilated hands, before kissing her on the lips and walking away silently. An instant later, he was absorbed by the Darkness. A lightning bolt tore the sky and thunder rumbled. Moments later, rain fell hard.

Matt squeezed his throat and asked him where Alex was. The man he was talking to, who could now hardly breathe, whispered: �The woman... she shot... twice.� Matt let go of the man and fell back on his old washed-up armchair. He thought that it was greatly time to get rid of her. His diabolical mind began elaborating a plan to capture her and make her pay the price for all the men from his clan that she had killed during the past few months. He took out a sharp knife from its case, which he always wore. Manipulating the blade with a surprising agility, he put it back in its holster with a swift movement. He recalled his last encounter with her, many years before. They were the only two, out of the thirteen who had been there, who were still alive. �And soon, he thought, I will be the only one.� He grabbed a bottle covered in dust that had no label.

The Colours, children of the Light, didn�t brighten the life of humans anymore. The extinct hearts of men didn�t care for them anymore, and only Darkness was present everywhere the survivors of the War were established. In that desolating world, all seemed dull and sad and turning your back to anyone could prove a fatal mistake. Such was Natalia�s world.

Alcohol always helped him relax. He threw his head back and the quickly-guzzled contents of the bottle infiltrated his blood in little time, supplying him with that feeling of dizziness he liked so much. Matt, once Matthew Carter, a senior executive who sank into alcoholism at the dawn of War and the dusk of the Light. The Light, which began its slow descent from its remarkable zenith. He noticed the first signs that indicated the imminence of a never-seen before violence, but few believed him. He resigned and busied himself by drinking astronomical quantities of alcoholized beverages. He smoked a lot. The old factories that produced cigarettes and alcohol in the past had, for the most part, underground storage that had been vastly unaffected during the War. It was therefore easy to get considerable amounts of these goods. Like all the others, he was an aggressive and unscrupulous man, carrying an explosive fury even into his death. They dared hurling him into the world when everything flicked, when the unimaginable happened, when the damaged ship that was humanity tipped over and definitely sank into a deep, dark and cold pit. They were all the martyrs of a Chaos engineered by generations of civilization. And his hatred was pouring on the population of a dead and buried world, without Hope for renewal. The Light didn�t shine anymore.

She could hear the children that did not make it to the shelter, screaming. They were prisoners outside the refuge, prisoners of humanity and its anarchic decadence, prisoners in the infernal fire that destroyed relentlessly. Their screams described better than anything else the unbearable pain they all felt. A few meters away, outside, just there, the War was accomplishing its diabolical work, exterminating humanity. Many weeks later, the doors of the shelters had been opened and they were able to realize the extent of their situation. Burnt bodies lay on the ground, their faces horribly twisted with lethal pain. Smoke still escaped from many buildings, which were mostly ruins now. Natalia opened her eyes, still shaking, a vague smell of burnt flesh freshly impregnated in her memory. Assailed by tremors, she lit a cigarette and was progressively able to calm down. That unstoppable dream haunted regularly. A painful memory eternally buried and solidly anchored in the deepest corner of her soul. A memory so painful that she was unable to ignore it or to understand it. A memory that hunted her constantly and slowly but surely consumed her ability to reason, dragging her towards an unavoidable insanity.

All of a sudden, she got up and checked her weapon. Without a noise, she slipped away from the encampment and walked towards the stairway where she had found the book. Vegetation had fissured the cement and rust had entirely conquered the left side of the stairway�s metal ramp. A few parcels of Light were able to find a way into the wide holes that the intense bombings of the War had created. She speedily ran down the stairs that lead to the underground tunnels that once served in a mass-transit system. This place of eternal peace was impressive. Natalia had often sought refuge there. But this time, something felt different. She closed her eyes against her own will and saw the industrial civilization of the past; she saw thousands of people hurry, laugh, smile, cry. She heard the noises of another time: a subway decelerating, cars honking outside. The Light shone in all its power. People joked, others seemed happy and content. The vision changed; a few years had gone by, the place had been renovated and modernized, but the darkened atmosphere reflected in everyone�s sad faces. It was exactly at that point that the alarm began resounding loudly. A panicked voice was heard: a state of emergency had been declared, what everyone had feared for so long was finally happening. Screams filled the air, a collective madness was taking over. A bright white Light blinded her temporarily. The time had changed again, but now, it was her world she saw, her eyes wide open; it wasn�t a vision anymore, but a tangible reality: a sad place, gray and melancholic, deprived of Light, without joy, without life.

She reached the stairway and left the tunnel. It was considerably colder outside since she had entered her underground refuge. Winter was approaching very fast indeed, and the temperature often dropped below the freezing point at night. Those conditions left behind a risky and treacherous mix of water and ice on which it was easy to fall and hurt oneself. The wind blew with strength, projecting many spills of water in Natalia�s face. She could hardly see ahead. Finally, she found the principal shelter of the encampment with the help of the weak Light the fire dispersed.

The main shelter consisted in the skeleton of a building, partially covered with various materials. Cement covered the ground, where, in the past, stood a much taller building. Mud and water filled the ground, which was in a bad shape. Cedric was cooking an animal killed during the day. He took it out of the fire and split it up in pieces.

�Come eat!�, he barked.

Natalia grabbed a small part and went back to her original position. The storm was still raging with the same intensity. She shivered. She thought it would snow overnight if this continued.

The snowfall intensified during most of the evening and the sky darkened, as it did so often, to a hypnotic black. Lightning bolts regularly tore the sky. Natalia lied down on the ground: she could now sleep. A tear ran down her face. Despair now possessed her. And in her lost world, that was understandable. Their existence was only an illusion, a dream that persisted uselessly. Humanity itself was dying. That night, she wept and wept. What else can you do once you realize your own life has no meaning attached to it? Her rage to live was only a vague memory. All that she needed now was a brutal and violent vengeance. Drying a tear, she walked towards Patrick, who was asleep. Silently, she woke him up: �Patrick, shut up, it�s me, Natalia... I quit... I�m leaving...�, she said

�Natalia... we... I... I love you, don�t go!�, he could barely blurt out.

�Come with me, we�ll leave together...�

He got up with difficulty and she kissed him vigorously. A trained eye could have detected the Light�s presence. They ran away quickly from the refuge.

The storm was blowing dangerously and they began their risky odyssey fighting off a strong wind. Patrick enquired about their destination and Natalia answered they would fire openly on Matt�s men and die in glory. He shivered, but Natalia seemed like the only real thing in his chaotic universe. He would follow her, and die with her. His love for her made the Light shine. Patrick, no older than thirty or so years, had been trapped in the same shelter as Natalia. He never knew his parents and grew up in misery. Now, the Light brightened his path, he knew, he would die for something. She advanced with rage and he followed her relentlessly.

They reached the red-painted limit of the territory. Matt�s clan neglected a lot of things, and the sentinel was asleep. Natalia held a long, sharp blade in her right hand and she glided gracefully to the guard. With a soft gesture, she lowered the blade and abruptly killed her prey. Patrick was now next to the second guard. He swiftly pushed a dagger in the man�s throat. Both of them regrouped behind a cement column. Another man was patrolling the area. He walked by. In a few steps, Natalia grasped him by the throat and snapped his neck. The man fell on the rocky ground noiselessly.

Pursuing her demonic ploy with Patrick at her side, she hid by a wall and he imitated her. Another man was approaching. Patrick jumped and his precise stab was right on target. The way inside, where the rest of the individuals lay slumbering, was now clear. They penetrated in the building where death patiently waited for them She grabbed her gun and they both fired towards the dark skies. Panic hit everyone hard, so Natalia and Patrick could fire at will. But soon, Matt and some of his accomplices were able to get a hold of their guns and many bullets hit the intruders.

Natalia fell. Patrick laid a little bit farther, dead. Matt arrived and a big smile cleared his sad expression. Natalia coughed and whispered: �Matt, please let me have a last cigarette, they�re in my right pocket�

He stared at Natalia�s beautiful face and cried softly. Without saying a word, he lit was would be Natalia�s last cigarette. Life was slowly flowing out of her body through her wounds. The cigarette burned while death progressively materialized, reaching a definite shape.

The day was bright of Light. It wasn�t raining. Natalia wept tenderly. She was dying in the Sun, in the most exquisite of days. All their eyes hurt; Darkness hugged them since what seemed like an eternity. They had forgotten the Sun�s great powers.

It�s raining lightly today. October showers. I dream of Natalia, running harshly, running to her death with Patrick. Natalia, oh beautiful Natalia. Yes, October showers light the fire of passion in me. Already, the Sun begins shining. The sky clears up; it will be a most enjoyable day today, and the Light will shine upon the abundant vegetation.

Here, they say I am not sane. But the prophetic vision appeared before me with such clarity that I cannot ignore it. I, Matthew Carter, am not delirious. They can lock me up and shut me up all they want, but we cannot avoid our destiny, remorseless and brutal. So, today, a beautiful day, I sit down, close my eyes and let the birds� songs slowly penetrate me, in the tender spring wind, as the waves below lazily break on the beach.

** Author�s note: This is a translation from French. If you can read French, please E-Mail me for the French version**

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