Reviewed by Robert

It has been a while since an SF story has appeared for me to review and I always enjoy a good story. This one has great potential. There are too many characters though and the technology is dropped in with out explanation. Another major point is that the story is far too short for the subject.

Re -write this and give you main character greater depth, give him loves, hates, vision and mission, us one ot maybe two secondary characters for him to bounce himself off and to give you a tool for extracting information from him.

The aliens explanation at the end sounds tacked on and with no development. Humans altered. Why? By whom? When?

The fortress. Who's is it? What is its purpose? and what does the main character hope to accomplish once inside?

The reservation. Where is it? Give a better reason why the main character wasn't executed.

Most of the narrative moves very fast, try and slow it down by reducing the scene changes to two or three and spending more time within the scene. The moral dilemma at the end is confusing and flat. I know what was trying to be said but it didn't come across well. Again, think about the story, the characters and the scenes, when they are real within your head then they might just work on paper.

Well done and hope to see more of your work soon on the SSC.

Hope this helps some.