The Carnival
ad,� Chapel said in a childlike, staccato manner. �I want to go to the carnival.�
There was no reply from the short, lanky dirty man in front of him. This figure drenched in the blue light from the TV seemed only to care about the overweight grapplers on the television and the itch in his underwear. Beside the unflinching spectator/scratcher was a woman sipping a margarita and reading an issue of people.
�Dad. Dad.� Chapel tried to get the attention of what he called the Goblin without touching him.
�Bobby P,� the woman said without looking up from her magazine. �I think the boy wants to say something to ya.�
�What is it , boy?� said the crumpled figure, staring deeper and scratching harder.
�The carnival is in town��
�No.� the goblin interrupted.
�But, there�s gonna be lots of fun things there. A big Ferris wheel, lots of games, a merry go round. Lots of neat things are gonna happen.�
�I�m gonna merry-go-round your little ass if you keep talking.�
�But..�
With the mutter of that word, the Goblin or shall we say Mr. Bobby P. Tucker turned his head and faced the boy. �Do not say another goddamn word about this circus.� Bobby P.�s neck muscles tightened and a vein in his head bulged out. Parts of his face was lit blue by the flickering light of the TV. Bobby P. ran his fingers through his oily short black hair. �Now, leave me alone.� Missing on all the good action, Bobby P. turned to face the TV. Chapel stood there. Trying to hide the rejection, he stared into the Goblin�s ear and imagined the ear was a tunnel to the blackest sewer, that held bubbling waste and mush. You see, the sewage boiled because of all the radiation that Chapel�s father absorbed from watching the television. Chapel smiled and under his breath said, �pretty soon it�ll be nothing but toxic gas.�
�You still here?� Bobby P. stayed focused on the screen.
Chapel straightened his grin and went to his room. �Yep, it�ll all turn to gas and you will float away. Up, high into the soft clouds. But the clouds won�t like you and they�ll throw lightning at you and make you to fall to the ground. Or maybe I�ll be the one to fly into the clouds. But there they will be nice to me, and hold me. And it�ll feel like cotton.� With these whispered words, Chapel started to cry.
Chapel was a small boy in all respects for his age. He had an uncommonly small cranium, small bony shoulders, small hands and even smaller feet. This smallness was the only attribute that he shared with his father. Chapel had light brown hair that was as fine as a caterpillar�s silk. He was awfully cute and charming. He had the makings of a fine young boy at the age of ten. Clearing away the tears, Chapel regained the sanguine shine in his eyes. With his room being a mess (there was a battle between a legion of heroic knights and a throng of bloodthirsty barbarians on his bed), Chapel decided to clean his room in fear of the wrath of the Goblin. The last time he left his room a shambles after an intense war, the Goblin gave him twenty lashes with an old wire hanger on his very small bottom.
In the living room, Bobby P. and his girlfriend/supplier/housekeeper, were making out. During a deep kissing session, Bobby P. stopped and smiled as if he pictured a beautiful woman in front of him.
�Damn, babe, guess what,� he busted with enthusiasm and sneaked in a little scratch.
�What hun�,� she said with disappointment as if she was disengaged from the grasp of a gorgeous man in front of her. She licked her thin red lips and gave her moppy red hair a quick fix. She had tiny gray eyes and extremely long lashes. She shuffled her slightly round body into a comfortable position. �Well, what is it Bobby P., tell me. I�m dyin� from the excitement.� Her name was Beth Billingworth.
�The deal paid off. The money I put in, is now triple! Raz said that he�ll have the money tomorrow. We got the cash now, babe. Forty thou�, babe. Owwwweee, babe.�
�Oh, wow!� Beth started to lick her lips. �Shee-yit,� she howled. �We�re rich!�
�Babe, you can line those margaritas of yours with coke now! And I can get me a new bike. A big �un. A black Cobra custom made for me. And a new TV with a big ass screen!�
She moved closer to her man and started to work him to become more of one. He took a deep breath.
�Wow,� said Beth, raising her eyebrows. �Hun�, you�� She leaned in even closer and purred. ��are�� There was no such thing as personal space between them at this point. ��the man.� Down her head went. Bobby P.�s eye�s opened up like an iris of a camera in need of light.
�Yeah, babe, after we give half of that to the shark, we�ll have it made.� He placed his hands behind his head. But before he was in dreamland, Beth shot up from beneath the depths and said with ignorance and anger, �What? Do ya mean that we don�t get to keep all the money?�
�Umm, no.�
�Shee-yit, Bobby P.,� she spat. �Why the hell not!?!�
�Because of Eli Crenshaw the loan shark. That�s why?� Old Bobby P. started to tremble. �What�s wrong with twenty big �uns. Damn, bitch, that�s more�n what we have now.�
�You stupid fuck,� she yelled. �Twenty is nothing. What can we do with twenty?� She was getting excited in a bad, bad way.
�Damn, babe,� cowered Bobby P. �I said it�s more�n what we have now.�
�It�s nothing compared to what we could have.�
�Yeah, but what about Eli, huh? They call that nigger the Voodoo-Man. Fuck, I heard he cursed some guy and made him bleed from his eyeballs. I also heard he shrank another guys balls for crossin� him. Raisin sacks, fuckin raisin sacks.�
�Don�t be such a pussy. Is he local? Is he from Little Rock?�
�Umm, no. He�s out from Detroit�
�It�ll take him awhile for him to get here. So we can hold out as long as possible to get ready, and then we can take off to Canada or Mexico. I hear that�s where all the fugitives go.�
�I don�t know why we can�t just pay him.�
�Think about it. Forty thousand dollars.� After moving her hair out from her eyes, she stared deep into Bobby P.�s beady dots.
�Yeah, babe. You�re right. Fuck that Voodoo fuck. We�ll bust out of here before he gets in town.� Bobby P. wiped the sweat from his forehead and fiercely scratched his itch.
�Okay, hun, good.� Beth paused for a few seconds. �What about the kid?�
�What you mean?�
�He�s gonna be a problem.�
�Why?�
�Are we gonna take him? Are we gonna spend our money on him?�
�But��
�We can just leave him�yeah.� Bobby P. resumed his sweating and nervous scratching.
�Isn�t that against the law?�
�You�re right,� Beth said with an enlightened tone. �We just can�t have the cops or the feds after us. They�ll be guaranteed to stop our asses anywhere we go.�
�I can give him up for adoption.�
�Are you kiddin�? There�s tons of paperwork to be done and that�s gonna take quite a long time. Their gonna have to find a family and all that stuff. It may take several weeks before we can leave. By that time the loan shark will have us. That�s no good.� She stopped for a few seconds to think. �How about if we get rid of him, permanently.�
Bobby P. didn�t know what to say. His throat was dry and his head felt light. �What?� Bobby puffed slowly.
�Yes, that�s the only way to be free of the kid.�
�Are you serious,� squeaked the Goblin. �What about the cops. We�d be fried you stupid, crazy bitch. How the fuck are we goin� spend our money if we�re in death row.� Bobby P. was furious.
Beth stood up and paced around the television. Time seemed to have slowed down and sound seemed to have ceased to exist. The grunts and punches of the wrestlers, the roars of the nothing-better-to do fans, and the commentary of the loser announcers have been muted by the intensity of the moment.
�Not if it�s an accident.�
�That�s stupid!�
�Once it�s done, the cops will probably ask questions and nosy around but after a couple days and the funeral they�ll stop botherin� us.� She stopped pacing. A bright idea must have come on because her eye�s lit like a pair of flood lights. �If there isn�t suspicion then it will all go well. You gotta treat him right. Out in public and all where everybody will see. Yeah, that�s it! You be the lovin� and carin� father. No one will suspect a thang. But how can we do it.�
�I don�t know, babe. This ain�t gonna work. I can feel it.�
�Would you stop bein� such a baby. Be a man. Shee-yit!�
�He�s my son. I don�t know� I don�t think, I could�,� he wept. �He�s my son.�
Beth�s face turned from fierce to caring. �Look, hun, I know you�re confused right now.�
�You�re damn right, I�m confused.� The itch never felt so hot. He trembled where he sat, and then he trembling turned into shifting. Then along with his shifting he started to make strange animal- like noises.
Beth sat down next her man and held him tightly. �It�s okay to feel like this, but we gotta think of our future. With this money we can live like Hollywood stars. We�d be so happy.� Beth changed her aspiring lips into a serious and dark frown. �Are you happy? I ain�t happy here in Arkansas. Are you happy? Tell me the truth, Bobby,� she said with a hellish stare. �Does he make you happy.�
Bobby P. looked into her eyes and saw the abyss. Painful heat and dry sadness found their way to his overwhelmed mind. �No,� he cried. �No, he doesn�t.� He fell limp into her arms.
�Good, now we can talk about how we�ll go about it.�
The next day was kind to the eyes. Chapel stretched his small, ten year old frame. He walked to the window and looked out. He yawned and rubbed his eyes. Walking to his opened closet, he searched through a pile of clothes. He found his favorite shirt and pants and changed into them. After finding his socks and shoes, Chapel ran through the house toward the front door.
�Hey, boy,� his dad shouted from behind him. Chapel stopped and slowly turned around. He was told not to run through the house before, but he wanted to reach the bus stop on time. �You don�t have to take the bus today. I�ll make you some breakfast and I�ll take ya on my bike.�
Chapel was shocked ,but for reasons unknown to him, he was happy as well.
After breakfast (two pieces of toast with butter and jam and a glass of water), they took off for school on Bobby P.�s Honda motorbike. Chapel always wanted to ride on the motorcycle.
�Just hold on tight,� Bobby P. said with a grin. After a couple of kicks to the starter, the two Tuckers were flying down the road. Chapel clasped tightly around Bobby P�s waist and put the side of his small head against Bobby�s back. Everything was blasting past. Faster and faster they seemed to go. When they reached the school, a woman in her late twenties greeted them. A throng of kids from a few school buses rushed by her as she walked to Bobby P and Chapel.
�Hi, Chapel. I was worried when I didn�t see you get off your bus.�
�Hello, Miss,� Bobby blurted with a sly tongue. �I�m Chapel�s father. We just took a ride on my bike. That�s all. Do ya like motorcycles, Miss�ummm.�
�Mrs. Dahl,� Chapel answered for the young lady. �Mrs. Dahl is my teacher.�
�Hi, it�s nice to finally meet you.� She turned to face Chapel. �Are you ready to go?� He nodded his head. With that affirmation, Mrs. Dahl took his little hand and started to walk him towards the school building. She stopped him and whisked around toward Bobby P straddling his motorcycle. �There�s a PTA meeting tonight. It�d be good if you came to see how wonderfully your child is doing.� She looked down to Chapel and smiled.
Bobby P almost broke out into laughter, but with his best acting voice he said yes. Feeling confidant in his new found talent, he proceeded to say a few more words before they departed. �I love you, son.� He then started his bike and drove off down the street.
Twelve minutes after the school bell rang for the day and eight minutes before his bus arrived, Chapel saw his dad drive up the street and into the school driveway.
�Let�s go boy,� his dad yelled. �We�re goin� shoppin�.�
Chapel found himself among a number of toys too many to count.
�Yeah, boy, go find you some toys. It�s about time for you to get you some new toys.� It was three months, one week and three days past his birthday and nine months, two weeks and four days to Christmas. �But don�t go hog crazy on me though.�
Chapel joyfully ran by all the aisles until he found the section he was looking for. With a thrilling tremble in his hands and heart, Chapel grasped two action figures---one of a knight in golden armor and one of a wizard in black robes. He showed his dad and smiled.
�This all?� Chapel nodded his head. �Damn, alright then.�
At the cashiers desk, Chapel was jumping in excitement. He couldn�t wait to open his new toys.
�Yeah, son,� Bobby P said aloud. �I love you.� Bobby P looked at the cashier. With a monstrous grin on his face, Bobby explained to the cashier why he would buy a couple of toys for his son. �I love my son you know. My boy Chapel, I love him.� The cashier, an older lady with light orange hair, smiled and handed the sack of delight to Chapel. Chapel turned around and thanked his dad. Bobby P put his hand on Chapel�s shoulder and winked.
They arrived at their house with glory and curiosity. Chapel ran to his room with a glorious skip to his feet and Bobby P was curious to whether Beth has been doing her part. With the door shut, Chapel was already in his room when Bobby P entered the house. Bobby P walked to the living room. He found Beth sprawled on the couch. The aroma of cannabis was in the air. There were three empty margarita glasses on the table next to the smoking bong.
�You stupid bitch!� Bobby P grabbed her arms and started to shake her. �You�re supposed lay off the shit before we did it. Damn, bitch, what are you doin�?�
�Hey, don�t yell at me,� she shouted back with a laugh. �I bet you been drinkin� yourself.�
�Yeah, but that�s to keep my head clear! Scotch keeps my head clear. I�m doin� my part! Are you?� He let go of her and scratched his itch. �Did you call Raz? Does he know when Eli Crenshaw is comin� into town? Did you do anything today you fucked up bitch!?!�
�Oh yeah baby.� She searched her pockets for something and then showed him what she had. �I got us this. So we can celebrate.�
She pulled out two small vials of crack. There was the look of madness in his eyes. �Damn!� With that said, Bobby P stomped to the kitchen and grabbed a bottle of Scotch. He spilled some in a glass and took a quick shot. He took another. Then he grabbed an empty flask from the cabinet and filled it up. He shoved it in his back pocket. Again he stomped through the living room and straight out the door. �I�m goin� to a meeting, you better clean up you fucking bitch.�
Only the roar from his bike could be heard from the living room couch. Beth lied there, staring at the ceiling. �That short bastard. Doesn�t he appreciate me,� she whispered to herself. �I�m the one who came up with the plan. I�m the one who wants us happy. Shee-yit, he doesn�t care for the kid at all. Doesn�t he care about me?� Tears started to run down her eyes. �Don�t you love me, Bobby P,� she proclaimed to an empty room. �Don�t you want me to be happy, like a beautiful movie star?� A few silent moments pass, when suddenly Beth screeched out like a wounded crow. �Fuck you then Bobby P! I�ll make myself happy. I ain�t needin� you. I ain�t needin� nobody, but me.� She sat up and stared at the wall. Wiping the tears from her cheeks and spit from her chin, she calmed herself down and reached into her pockets for happiness.
The meeting with the teachers and the principal was a blur. He was beyond rage still and didn�t understand anything but his own thoughts. He was angry and scared, pale and sweaty. Now and then, Bobby P faked a smile and a nod as if he understood what the teachers had to say. He also blurted flatly that he loved his son to comments and questions like: Your son is very imaginative. Your son has trouble with multiplication and division. Does he ask you for help? Do you feed your son three square meals a day? He replied correctly to a few questions and comments with a nod or a smile. But after he was gone, all the teachers thought he was strange yet a genuinely caring father.
Bobby P found a phone booth and called up his friend Raz. He caught Raz in the middle of a party.
�Raz,� Bobby P growled. �Have you heard from Eli?�
�Yep, bro, I heards from the man.� There are sounds of decadent laughter and hell-raising music in the background. �He�s wondering where�s you been. If I was you, I�d give him a buzz and tell him your getting yo ass on the next bus to Dee-troit. And you calm that man down because he sounded pissed. I�m telling you the mans was pissed.�
�Did he say he was comin� down?�
�Yep, he sure did. But only if he didn�t see you in the next twenty four hours.�
�Damn!� he said as he slammed the phone.
Shortly after, the fidgety and itchy Bobby P made his way home. He entered his house only to see a pale, contorted mass of flesh covered in puke dead on the floor. He gathered that she OD�d on the crack she bought. He howled and wept near the corpse. Pounding the floor, he began to curse her.
�Dad?� Chapel squeaked from behind the corner of the connecting hallway. �What�s wrong?�
Bobby P stood up and grabbed Chapel by the arm.
�Shut up,� he lashed. Chapel cowered back. �Hey do you want to go to the carnival?�
�Okay,� Chapel replied reluctantly. The sweating Goblin gave a tug to Chapel�s arm. They headed out of the house when Bobby P started muttering. �We were supposed to wait until Sunday to go. But we have to go now. We planned for Sunday. I needed to see the minister and the ice cream store people tomorrow. I was supposed to convince them tomorrow and that would�ve been all. But now I have to do it tonight. It has to be tonight.� Though confused, Chapel got on the motorcycle.
The carnival was a heavenly sight. The sun was making its way down and the carnival lights were just turned on. The clouds were purple with orange lining. Chapel was happy. They made their way through the crowds. There were times when Chapel wanted to stop at a couple of rides and prize booths but Bobby P. tugged him along, full speed to the other side of the carnival. The side that was ground to a massive Ferris wheel, covered with bright and colorful lights. The circular structure towered over the small Bobby P and even smaller Chapel.
�This is it,� Bobby P said with ill admiration.
�Wow. We�ll be in the clouds.�
They got in line and anticipated their turn. Ten minutes later they sat themselves in a open topped, swinging booth. The carnival worker belted them in. �Stay seated and belted at all times. Enjoy,� he muttered.
�I love my boy,� Bobby said with a smile. The worker just smiled back and reminded them to stay seated. Bobby P and Chapel sat together facing the vast landscape. With a ruff jolt the colossal wheel started its ascent into the sky.
�Hey, boy. Get comfortable and unbuckle that belt.�
�I can�t. The man said not to.�
�Fuck that man. Do it now!� Bobby P took his flask from his back pocket and took a long drink. Chapel tensed up. With a scared and sad look on his face, he shook his head.
�Dammit!� the Goblin frustratingly yelled with a terrible face. Bobby P. then reached over and unbuckled Chapel�s belt.
Chapel slid to the bottom of the booth near Bobby P.�s feet. He tightly curled in a ball and held on to a bar.
�Get up boy!� Bobby P. yelled, but the only reply Chapel gave was a silent, frightened shake.
In a frenzied rage, spitting and hissing like a boiling pot of sewer water, Bobby P. unbuckled his safety belt, stood up and grabbed at Chapel. The gigantic steel wheel gave a jarring halt near the top and sent Bobby P. over the edge of the booth. Chapel slowly stood up, sat down and fastened his belt. With glassy and wide eyes, Chapel looked to the ground.
Back to the archive 
Return to.... SSC