nightmare to be sure....just a horrible, red, disgusting nightmare. It had
to be, it just couldn't be real...it was too awful to be real.
"Positive," The doctor said.
How could it be? I've always been so careful. I've been monogamous for 14
years, he has too. How could the dreaded virus invade my system like this?
But I remember something....not so sure what, my brain is scrambled...I need
to focus.
An accident. A bloody, mangled man thrown from his car. I stopped to help,
tried to treat him for shock while waiting for the EMT's. I tried to calm
him, but to calm a dying man is a difficult thing. He groped at the air,
gasping for breath...he grabbed my hand and begged me to help him.
He had a gash on his neck and, at first, it seemed small. Then all of the
sudden the blood began to squirt, I was covered. I put pressure on it, but
his artery was damaged...oh where was the ambulance? Would they ever get
here?
The sticky, smelly, red goo was covering me....my white shirt was now a dark
red and I was beginning to feel sick.
The man was screaming, begging for help....I'll never forget his mangled,
twisted face.
Finally....the ambulance was there. The EMT took me to the side, he thought I
was injured because of all the blood, I was pale and felt sick to my stomach.
He helped me get out of the bloody clothing and gave me a clean gown to put
on so the blood wouldn't cover the inside of my car. He tried to give me my
shirt but I told him to burn it, I never wanted to see it again.
As I opened my car door, they were covering his face with a sheet...it was
too late.
I thought I'd never get over it, but eventually I did. I forgot all about it
until now.
Until the doctor told me I have HIV, the virus that causes the dreaded
disease that there is no cure for and is most assuredly a death sentence. I
couldn't believe it, because I've been monogamous and don't use drugs, but it
was in the blood...the sticky red blood that covered my body invaded my
system. I tried to help a dying man and now I may die because of it, what
irony. The death was in the blood.
