The Kidnap Of Lady Shay

ANGER Kainan was a kind soul who went around the countryside doing good deeds. He was working on his collection of good deed badges, and the two that he was still missing were �Rescuing A Fair Maiden� and �Helping Out A Friend Who Is Being Attacked By Black Dragons�. He thought that the first one wouldn�t be too difficult to find, after all, there were lots of fair maidens who got themselves into trouble in all sorts of ways. For instance, his friend Lord Barrie had helped a young girl out of a tree. The girl had climbed the tree and then got stuck in it with no way down. Lord Barrie had found her, run to the nearest castle, borrowed a ladder and then brought it back to the young girl who was still stuck in a tree. For that, Lord Barrie had earned his badge for �Rescuing A Fair Maiden� and rubbed Ranger Kainan�s nose in it all the time.

Kainan thought Lord Barrie was nothing but a show-off. Anybody could�ve got the girl a ladder, but Barrie had been in the area at the time. Nobody thought to ask him what he was doing walking around the forest looking up at trees in the first place, and Kainan wished they would. He knew that Lord Barrie always made excuses not to help out washing the castle windows, and that day had pretended that he was giving his horse an exercise run. But he�d not taken his horse and had been spotted carrying a book with him. When Ranger Kainan had asked the rescued girl how Lord Barrie had seen her in the first place, she�d told him that she�s spotted him lying beneath the tree she was trapped in and was reading his book. He�d even ignored her until she started throwing acorns at him.

And that was how Lord Barrie got the badge and Kainan didn�t.

But the other badge he was missing might be very hard to get indeed. Nobody had earned themselves that one. In fact, the �Helping Out A Friend Who Is Being Attacked By Black Dragons� badge was the most glorious of all the badges being offered, simply because it was so hard to get. Only one person had ever come close, and that was Warrior Haden. He�d saved his friend, the Jingle Bell Clown Shaun from the attack of a Black Dragon when they�d been travelling to the next town. A wayward black dragon had been pretending to be looking at pebbles behind a small bush, trying to pass himself off as a curious Blue Dragon (who are harmless and are always looking at pretty rocks) but when Warrior Haden and the Jingle Bell Clown Shaun had gone past, the Black Dragon had roared delightfully �LUNCH!� (or words to that affect) and then attacked them. Warrior Haden had pulled out his sword to attack the creature, but it avoided him and flew after Jingle Bell Clown Shaun who was running away in fright.

So Warrior Haden had chased after it and they had a big battle when he caught up to both the Black Dragon and Jingle Bell Clown Shaun (they were running around a very large pond). And after some time, he chased the Black Dragon away (who�d decided that he was quite bored with this game and flew off. Lunch looked far too noisy to eat anyway, with all that jingling), rescued his friend the Jingle Bell Clown Shaun and applied for his badge. But he didn�t get it - on a technicality. He hadn�t �Helped Out A Friend Who Was Being Attacked By Black Dragons�, he�d �Helped Out A Friend Who Was Being Attacked By A Black Dragon�, because there was only one. Unfortunately, there was no badge for what Warrior Haden did, so nobody got any rewards.

While Ranger Kainan was thinking about all of this, a crow flew to his bedroom window, dropped the piece of paper it had in its mouth, and flew away.

Startled, Kainan picked up the paper, saw it was a scroll, so he unwound it and read it after much trouble (because every time he unwound the scroll, it would quickly wind back into a roll - he eventually got it open by using four rocks from his rock collection, one that a curious Blue Dragon would be proud of).

He read these words, written in the handwriting of the Mayor of Gerr�s best friend, the Magician Lolak:

�Wanger Kainan,
Please help. The Mayor�s youngest daughter, Lady Shay, is in twouble. She has been kidnapped by Orc Waiders and is sure to be used in their howwible Blood Festival in two days time. I noticed that you did not have a badge for �Wescuing A Fair Maiden�. This would be the best time to earn yourself one, it�ll go vewy well with your new gween cloak.
--- the Magician Lolak�

Kainan wasn�t surprised that Lady Shay had got herself caught by Orcs. She insisted on picking wildflowers from the town border, and everyone knew that Orc Raiders patrolled the borders. That�s what they did, it was their job. The pay was supposedly pretty good too.

So he ran excitedly to his horse, then slapped his forehead and ran back into the castle to get his sword, then ran back to his horse. But he�d forgot his shield, so he ran back into the castle and picked that up from the hook on the wall (because Ranger Kainan had a badge for �Being A Generally Tidy And Organised Person�). Then he looked around for anything else he might�ve forgotten, picked that up too, and jogged to his horse. Leaping onto the saddle, he rode to the township of Gerr (which was only half a day�s ride away on horseback) and told the guards at the gate that he had business with the Magician Lolak. After he showed them his identification - his Ranger�s license - they let him in. Even though they knew who he was (because of all his good deeds) they still had to go through procedure. The town was just run like that.

Kainan walked into Gerr, leading his horse by the reins. He reached the stables and left his horse there, patting its head and then running away when it whinnied at him (because his horse hated being pat on the head, but he always forgot) and headed for the Town Hall, where the Mayor and his Magician would be.

When he entered the doors a small boy nearby started to blow on his trumpet noisily. Ranger Kainan hurried down the lobby, but the boy followed him, still blowing his trumpet. He tried to lose the boy by hiding behind a pot plant but the trumpet boy had seen him and was making his awful music right in front of the plant Kainan was hiding behind. He stepped out and ran to the room where Magician Lolak worked in, and was followed by the boy who was running behind him, blowing the trumpet all the way. When he knocked on the door the boy stopped playing his trumpet and waited for the door to open. When it did, he blew on his trumpet again.

The Magician stood at the doorway, smiling at Kainan before telling the boy to go away, which he did.

�I�m glad you could make it, Wanger Kainan. I wasn�t sure if you wealised the importance of this mission,� the Magician said.

�You mentioned a badge.�

�Yes. Whoever wescues Lady Shay will be wewarded with a pwetty gold badge for �Wescuing A Fair Maiden�. The weason for this is because Lady Shay is a vewy fair maiden and she�s in twouble, so whoever wescues her is eligible for the badge.�

Ranger Kainan grinned happily. It had been a long time since a fair maiden needed help in this community. Whenever the girls had been in need of help they�d got bored waiting for it to come and had then just saved themselves! Of all the nerve, because that took away the chance of badge earning. And they even managed to get another badge approved by the Grand And Happy King George Of Gerr, Surrounding Communities, And The Little Island In The Middle Of That Pond by The Smelly Tree. The badge was called �Rescuing Yourself While Wearing A Dress�. This was so the males in the area would not be able to earn that particular badge because they didn�t go around wearing dresses. But the maidens had underestimated their fellow heroes and for a very long time there were a lot of men wearing dresses who were waiting to be kidnapped. After awhile, they just started kidnapping each other, but Grand And Happy King George of Gerr, Surrounding Communities, And The Little Island In The Middle Of That Pond By The Smelly Tree had put a stop to that, saying that badges wouldn�t be earned if you happened to be kidnapped by a friend. Which Ranger Kainan thought was fair and just (because he�d already earned that badge and didn�t want anyone else to have one).

�Wanger Kainan, are you listening to me?� the Magician said, annoyed that he was being ignored. �I said, we must be off to see Mayor Fwed, he�s expecting you and a whole lot of other would be hewoes.�

�Sowwy, I mean, sorry,� said Kainan sheepishly.

Lolak opened the door to find the boy with the trumpet waiting outside who started to blow it, and told him to go away. The boy then stopped blowing his trumpet, stuck out his tongue and ran away.

�How wude!� Lolak said irritably. He led Kainan to the Mayor�s office and they walked right in, because the door was open. The room looked as though it was empty, and they were just about to leave when the Mayor crawled out from behind his desk.

�Mayor Fwed!� Lolak said in surprise, not expecting to see his friend crawling around on the floor. Especially not when he was the mayor. �What�s wong? What are you doing?�

�Get down!� the Mayor said, motioning for them to fall to the floor. �We�re under attack!� He pointed at the window, which was broken, and then at the thing that had broken it, which was a rock with a piece of paper tied around it.

Ranger Kainan quickly picked it up, took off the piece of paper and threw it onto the floor and started to inspect the rock to see if it was good enough to join his collection, and by golly, it was! Lolak picked up the paper, looked at it for a moment, and shook his head, sighing.

�Oh dear. It�s witten in the Orcish language. I wonder what Ooga Bagu Agu Dooga means?�

Ranger Kainan (who knew how to speak Orcish) said: �It means �You�re invited to the party of the year.��

�And what about �Ooka Booka Diggi Boba�?�

�It means,� Kainan said, taking a deep breath, �Be at the Cave of the Black Skull in two days time where the best Blood Festival in all time will be held, courtesy of Prince Abagott. A grand feast will be held before the celebrations, witness the brave fire eaters, laugh at the silly clowns and be awed by the sacrifice of the fairest maiden in all the land. Please send your RSVP by tomorrow morning to Prince Abagott�s Secretary.�

The Mayor and his Magician looked shocked.

�This little sentence means all of that?�

�It�s a very complex language,� Kainan explained.

�Dear me,� the Mayor worried. �My poor daughter. You must help me, my Ranger friend. I don�t want Shay to be part of their Blood Festival. It�s going to be way past her bedtime.�

�Mayor Fwed, I�d be glad to help,� Kainan told him proudly.

Mayor Fwed was grateful. He took the note from the Magician and handed it to Ranger Kainan, who read it through.

�Finding her should be easy,� Kainan said, tucking the note into his pocket.

�Why is that?� Fwed and Lolak said in unison.

Lolak continued. �The Cave of the Black Skull is a dark labywinth of magic mazes, where one wong turn can lead you into death or despair. You could find yourself wandewing for hours on end, turning into dead ends, going insane while moving in circles. It is a place of dank howwor and misfortune. Only the bwavest of souls can face the Caves without compunction. Why is it, Wanger Kainan, that you agwee so weadily to enter the heart of evil?�

�Because they drew a map on the other side of the paper,� Kainan said, showing them.

�Oh, that�s okay then.�

So with that, Ranger Kainan shook their hands, left them behind and snuck past the boy with the trumpet who was dozing beside the front door. He quickly made his way to the stables and took his horse, leaving the township of Gerr quickly, before the other heroes could arrive and claim the badge for the rescue of Lady Shay.

By noon, he reached The Little Island In The Middle Of That Pond By The Smelly Tree, which was halfway to the Cave of the Black Skull. He patted his horse on the head to say thank you, ran away when his horse snapped his teeth, and sat down beneath The Smelly Tree to have his lunch.

Now, most smelly trees don�t smell too good, but this smelly tree had the odour of a nice sort of flower sprinkled lightly with faerie dust (which smelled quite good in these parts - it was only in the township of Budikin that things sprinkled with faerie dust smelled bad, and that was because the faerie community in that area had pooled their money together and got a joke book, which was filled with things like stink-bombs and water balloons and so forth. The first thing they all learned to make was a stink bomb, which they mixed into their faerie dust � thing was, they couldn�t use it on other faeries, because the faerie community thought the stink bombs smelled quite lovely, so they smothered themselves in the stuff. Which is why in the township of Budikin you should stay away from the faeries, and certainly never accept anything from them).

Kainan unwrapped one of his sandwiches (which he always placed ready in his backpack, because he was always out for adventures) and ate it quite happily beneath The Smelly Tree as his horse nibbled on some nearby grass. The sandwich had cheese and marshmallow in it, something that everyone in the land loved. Kainan was quite proud of the cheese and marshmallow sandwiches because everyone liked his best. He had a secret recipe which he hadn�t told anyone about. His trick was to toast the marshmallows and not the cheese. He finished eating, licked his fingers, then tried to pat his horse in a friendly manner on the head, but his horse wouldn�t let him, so he just jumped onto the saddle instead.

They rode on, their destination the Cave of the Black Skull.

�Well,� Kainan said out loud to his horse when they eventually got there, �I wonder who picked these names?�

The Cave of the Black Skull looked more like a giant pink aardvark. The reason for this was because the rocks in this area were all the type that got sunburned, and nobody bothered to put sun-screen on them. And the Cave of the Black Skull was set in a huge mountain (which is really nothing more than a very big rock when you think about it) which was the entrance to some pretty sinister places.

Kainan guessed that the Orcs called this place the Cave of the Black Skull to scare people. After all, if they called it the Cave of the Giant Pink Aardvark they probably wouldn�t strike fear into the hearts of too many heroes. They probably wouldn�t strike fear into the hearts of too many Jingle Bell Clowns either, not even Shaun, who ran away if he saw himself in the mirror (mind you, if you were outfitted the way Jingle Bell Clown Shaun was you�d probably scare yourself too).

Kainan breathed a big sigh, tried to spur his horse into the caves, was rather put out when his horse refused, and decided to go in on foot. He pulled his backpack out of his saddlebag and put it on after placing all that he needed inside. The reason why he carried around his backpack in his horse�s saddlebag was because his horse constantly refused to go into places in which there was a hint of danger. Because Kainan was a Ranger, he wouldn�t make an animal enter a place the animal didn�t want to, because he was nice to animals which was why he�d got his job. He�d even taken out the Trophy For Being Very Kind To Animals Even If They Are Stubborn Or Bad Tempered last year, and he was very proud of this fact. He patted his horse on the head, which his horse grumbled at, and then went into the cave.

It was very dark, and he couldn�t see anything at all except for a big light behind him accompanied by an odd sound that he recognised. He turned around to look at where this light was coming from and realised that it was the mouth of the cave, and his horse was standing there whinnying at him and stamping his hoof. Kainan came out of the cave to ask his horse what the matter was, and when his horse turned around Kainan saw that he�d forgotten his sword and shield.

He slapped his forehead, took his weapon and his shield, and because he was here, he remembered to take his lantern as well. When he entered the cave again, he used his flint and steel (which he kept in his secret pocket - which wasn�t very secretive because everybody knew he had one, mainly because he would show it to them and ask �do you like my secret pocket?�) and lit up his lantern. He carefully put the flint and steel back in his pocket - because he didn�t want to accidentally start a fire in his clothes - and held up his lantern to have a look around.

The first thing he saw was a group of vampire bats lining the roof directly above his head. They all woke up when he shone the lantern light on them.

�Who�s that?�

�Where�s that light coming from?�

�Turn it off! Turn it off!�

�Oh,� Ranger Kainan said, putting his lantern on the floor so only a dull light hit the bats. �Excuse me, so very sorry, didn�t mean to wake you fellows up.�

�That�s alright, you didn�t know we were here,� said one tired and grumpy bat, �just don�t do it again!�

�Why are you sleeping so close to the mouth of the cave, doesn�t the sunlight get you?�

�Not at this time of day,� said the same tired and grumpy bat. �We�re too scared to go further into the cave.�

�How come?� Kainan asked, amazed that bats would be scared of anything, especially when it was in the dark. They could get around better than any other creature at night, so he couldn�t understand what they feared. It must be terrible for vampire bats to be afraid of, considering most things were afraid of vampire bats! �Our dentist lives down there.�

Well, that explained everything, so Kainan thanked them for the warning, apologised for the light and headed off, his shield strapped onto his left arm, his lantern held by his left hand and his trusty sword in his right. He was prepared, and he was positive he looked really good too.

Carefully Kainan crept into the cave, keeping his course. He came across a couple of clinging cave-crabs who clicked their claws at him, and he cursed when one cave-crab caught its claw on his cloak.

�Get off, you hairy thing!� he yelled, and pulled it off him. He threw it back onto the wall, and there it stuck, upside down and a little confused. Then he apologised to it for being so physical (after all, he was a Ranger and a cave- crab is an animal of sorts) and went on his way.

After some time he came across a little bat in the corner, who was working under a bright light surrounded by surgical instruments. It was playing with a tiny drill, and every time the drill screeched Kainan winced. He edged past the bat and cautiously moved on, expecting all manner of creatures ahead of him.

He finally entered a large area filled with doors. When Kainan counted all the doors he ended up with ten to choose from, five slightly on his left and five slightly on his right. One of them had a big green blob stain on it.

He pulled out the map which was also the invitation to the Blood Festival and shone the light of his lantern on it.

The map told him to take the door that was one to the left of the green blob. He put the map back in his pocket for safe keeping and approached the eighth door, because the blob was on the ninth. As he got closer, the blob jumped off the door (much to his surprise) and crawled past him to sit on the fourth door.

Kainan now had to go through the third door if he followed the map instructions, so he went over to it. As he was about to open it, the blob jumped off the fourth door and crawled away from him, stopping between the seventh and eighth doors.

�Well, make a decision!� Kainan prompted, not wanting to stand around here all day.

The blob jumped on the seventh door and hung there, pretending to be nothing more than a stain, when Kainan quickly opened the sixth door and found himself face to face with an angry Black Dragon. He quickly shut the door again and stood against it.

�That was the wrong one, you silly blob. Now get back on the door you�re usually on.�

The blob fell off the seventh door in a heap and dejectedly slithered to the ninth door, where it sulkily climbed up and hung there, waiting for Kainan to use the eighth door.

�Thank you, sorry about the name calling. I just have to get there in time, that�s all.�

The blob shrugged.

Ranger Kainan - positive that the shrug meant his apology was accepted - went through the eighth door into a bright and cheerful garden path. He checked his map to see if he had come the right way, and was delighted to read that this place was called �Garden of Light�. Well, it was certainly bright in here. Kainan looked up to see that someone had been nice enough to string up a number of luminous beads. They acted like little fake suns.

He kept his lantern lit (because he expect other places to be so bright) and ate one of his cheese and marshmallow sandwiches before heading down the path towards the giant silver door that was at the head of the garden.

As he walked on, he could hear chattering noises at his feet. Tiny creatures were gathering around him, carrying little blocks and wearing tiny little backpacks. They were green in colour with a mop of curly hair on top, and they wore purple robes. Kainan peered at them, trying to find out what they were doing. It appeared they were building a little staircase so they would be able to walk up a rock. He wondered why they didn�t just walk around it.

He passed them and carried on his way, breathing in the scent of the wonderful garden flowers that lined the path towards the door. Then he suddenly remembered that he was allergic to pollen and began to sneeze. He sneezed all the way to the silver door and when he got closer he could see a mirror on the wall beside it. He glanced in the mirror to make sure his hair wasn�t messy when his reflection decided this would be a good time to start speaking to him. Unfortunately, because his reflection was behind glass, Kainan couldn�t hear what he was saying.

His reflection jumped up and down and began to make hand signals. Kainan finally understood that his reflection wanted to play charades. He put his lantern down on the floor and waited for the game to begin.

�Okay,� Kainan said as his reflection held up all his fingers and then another three. �Thirteen words.�

His reflection held up six fingers.

�The sixth word is?�

His reflection appeared to be opening a door.

�Door?�

His reflection nodded and clapped with delight - only Kainan couldn�t hear the clapping, he could only see it.

The game continued on from there. When he had twelve of the thirteen words his reflection began to grow more and more frantic. So far, Kainan knew all of this: If you go through the door, it will lead you to your�

But he was still trying to guess the last word.

His reflection was now jumping up and down in frustration. His mirror twin was pointing at his throat and pulling faces.

�Throat? Neck? Strangled?�

His reflection began to scream at him silently, and it looked quite funny. Kainan laughed. Then he apologised and continued to guess when his reflection began to make new signals.

�Rope? Noose? Hang?�

His reflection pounded on the glass and screamed something at him. Kainan could very faintly hear the word �no�.

A new version of the word Kainan was trying to guess came. His reflection went still, closed his eyes and promptly fell over.

�Death?� Kainan said quietly, unsure.

His reflection popped up with a large grin on his face, nodding vigorously. Then he started to dance around. Kainan danced around as well, happy that he�d finally guessed the sentence. He repeated it out loud to make sure he had it properly.

�If you go through the door, it will lead you to your death!� he said happily, excited that he�d won the game. Then he realised what the sentence really meant and stopped dancing. �Oh. That�s not so good.�

His reflection nodded agreement.

�But I have to save Lady Shay,� Kainan informed him, drawing his sword and thrusting it into the air grandly. �I must protect her from the Orcs and the evil Prince Abagott!�

His reflection began to tremble nervously at the mention of Prince Abagott. Kainan patted the glass, saying �there, there� before leaving. He did, after all, have a job to do.

He opened the silver door very carefully and peeked around it Inside there were five sleeping dragons. As Kainan studied them, one yawned and blew a puff of smoke before settling down to sleep again. He gripped his sword tightly, checked that he was still carrying his shield and tip-toed into the room, forgetting his lantern.

He carefully passed between two dragons, one was black and the other blue. Now, Black Dragons are angry creatures by nature, but usually Blue Dragons aren�t, because they�re quite happy with their rock collections. Unfortunately, if a Blue Dragon keeps bad company, it takes on a very cross personality, and a cross dragon is not something Kainan wanted to annoy. A Black Dragon is certainly bad company for a Blue Dragon, because Blue Dragons don�t smoke unless a Black Dragon teaches it to. Smoking is a waste of Dragon Breath, which is supposed to help dragons spit fire Spitting was also a habit Kainan wasn�t too fond of, especially when fireballs were the result.

After he managed to quietly get past them he approached two large Red Dragons who were snoozing with their heads touching, a happy dozing smile on their faces. Kainan wasn�t too afraid of them - Red Dragons by nature were shy and gentle. They looked fierce, and sometimes growled, but if something scared them they would run away. He crept past them as well and faced the last dragon which he had to move silently past.

A Green Dragon blocked the only doorway in the room. To get through the door, Kainan would have to climb over the dragon without waking it up and then squeezing through the door - which wouldn�t open very far.

Despite the fact that Kainan loved all creatures - he feared Green Dragons. Even Black Dragons weren�t as bad as Green Dragons. They were jealous and spiteful animals who would smash down entire forests in search for a specific tree to use as a toothpick. They left destruction behind when they travelled on holidays, not picking up their rubbish after leaving their camp, not bothering to wipe their feet when entering their cave, and sometimes, if they were expecially bad, they didn�t put their playthings away but shoved them all in a cupboard instead.

Kainan carefully placed his foot on the Green Dragon�s knee. The dragon didn�t stir so he continued to walk up the dragon�s body. The beast was very large and weighty, so Kainan walking over it would probably be to the dragon what a fly would by to the Ranger. He was carefully not to make silly moves though, because waking up the dragon would not be a good idea.

Eventually he reached the top and had an odd desire of placing a flag on the dragon�s back, but he didn�t have a flag so he didn�t do it. He began the trek downward.

On the way over the dragon�s leg he slipped and fell against the door in a loud clatter.

From his vantage point on the floor, he watched the Green Draagon roar in surprise, leap away and turn to face him. Behind it Kainan saw the two Red Dragons trying to hide behind each other while the Blue and Black Dragons looked confused and sleepy.

�A human!� the Green Dragon roared angrily, annoyed that a mere human would dare interrupt its sleep. Then the Green Dragon advanced.

Kainan yelped in fright and opened the door, ready to rush through.

�Get him!� the Green Dragon yelled out, and oddly enough it stopped in its tracks because of what the other dragons said.

�Forget it, I want my sleep,� said the Black Dragon.

�Be quiet, I�m tired,� the Blue Dragon muttered.

�It might have sharp pointy things on it,� one of the Red Dragons said as the other agreed that it would be a bad idea.

While the Green Dragon turned to give its friends a filthy look, Kainan ran away.

He entered the room without really looking as to what was inside and found himself in a room full of Orc Raiders who were having a very large and loud party. Everywhere he looked there were Orcs laughing and dancing and singing and fighting. Almost all of them were drinking a fizzy drink of some kind, and some of them even had pieces of fruit in their drinks. All of them looked extremely happy.

Kainan jumped onto the nearest wooden table and shouted over everybody else:

�Right, this Blood Festival is coming to an end!�

The room went silent and all eyes turned to him.

�Give me Lady Shay right now and we can all go home and forget this ever happened,� he told them.

�What�s this?� a voice boomed from the far end of the room. Kainan looked up and saw Prince Abagott himself, dressed in fine black clothing and sitting on a huge throne, a small pterodactyl perched on his shoulder. Beside him was Lady Shay, looking rather tied up� with ropes. �We�ve got ourselves a party pooper. Isn�t that a shame?�

Kainan jumped off the table and walked through the crowd of Orcs to stand directly in front of Prince Abagott�s massive throne. When he was this close he saw that the creature on the evil Prince�s shoulder was not a pterodactyl at all but in fact a tiny velociraptor. It gave a shrill squawk and Kainan wondered how he could�ve made such a mistake.

�I�ll take Lady Shay now, if you don�t mind,� Kainan said politely, reaching for her ropes. The girl squirmed and the tip of Prince Abagott�s sword somehow found itself near Kainan�s throat.

�Well, kind sir, I do mind.�

Kainan looked up at Prince Abagott angrily, and was surprised to see that the creature on his shoulder was now a tiny tyrannosaurus rex. Kainan muttered to himself.

�What was that?�

�I said you�ve got too many pets.�

�Oh, you mean little Jurassic? He�s lovely, isn�t he?� Prince Abagott lovingly stroked the dinosaur�s head and right in front of Kainan�s eyes the creature changed into a mini brontosaurus. �Quite talented.�

�You�re changing the subject,� Kainan accused.

�Am I?�

�Yes.�

�Then what was the subject?� Prince Abagott asked kindly.

�Your Blood Festival,� he said.

�Aaah,� Prince Abagott declared, and leaned back in his throne, not removing the tip of his sword from Kainan�s throat. �We digress.�

�I�m taking Shay back to her father, Mayor Fwed. He misses her.�

�That�s so sad,� Prince Abagott told him, and Kainan knew that the evil Prince didn�t really care who missed who.

�Are you going to give me Lady Shay?�

The Prince laughed, and all the Orcs laughed as well.

�Silence!� he yelled, and they stopped laughing. Abagott turned back to Kainan and sheathed his sword. �I won�t give you the girl.�

�I�ll have to use force, then.�

�In a room full of Orcs?�

Kainan looked around to see all the Orcs staring at him. Some of them looked quite upset that their party had been interrupted. Quite frankly, Kainan hadn�t realised that the party before the Blood Festival was to begin so early.

�I guess so.�

Prince Abagott laughed again, and all the Orcs laughed with him. The Prince screamed again for them to shut up. They did as they were told.

�Right, get him,� the Prince ordered, and the Orcs rushed him.

Ranger Kainan fought valiantly. He pushed Orcs away and hit some into others. But there were too many Orcs and they all leapt on top of him in a big pile.

�You�ll join Lady Shay in the Blood Festival, I think,� Prince Abagott.

�I decline the invitation,� Kainan wheezed.

�Not as a guest, oh no, you�ll be the sacrifice to warm up the crowds before the real sacrifice!� The brontosaurus that was now a stegosaurus jumped off Prince Abagott�s shoulder and scurried over to where Ranger Kainan lay and bit his nose. The Ranger yelped and the Prince laughed out loud at the sight - which made all the Orcs laugh too.

Unfortunately, Kainan was directly underneath an Orc Raider with particularly bad breath. He asked the Orc not to laugh so hard because of the bad smell and the Raider sniffed the air..

Suddenly the Orc�s nostrils flared, his eyes lit up and he looked at Kainan with wide and hopeful eyes.

�Do I smell cheese and marshmallow sandwishes?�

At this question all of the Orcs listened intently.

�Why, yes, they�re in my backpack,� he said. At this, all of the Orcs jumped off him and gave him their greedy stares. Kainan looked at Prince Abagott with worry, not understanding this turn of events.

�What are you doing?� Prince Abagott shouted, �jump back on him!�

But the Orcs didn�t move, instead they began to ask for the cheese and �mallow sandwiches. Kainan told them he�d give them out only if they helped him get Lady Shay back. At this, they looked at Prince Abagott who was yelling and screaming and pulling on his hair for them to listen to them, and then back and Ranger Kainan who smiled at them, nodding.

The closest Orcs grabbed Lady Shay and helped her to her feet. When Prince Abagott tried to interfere they held him back, telling him they wouldn�t share their cheese and �mallow sandwiches with him if he was naughty. When he still didn�t quieten down they locked him and Jurassic in a cupboard together.

Lady Shay was helped out of the ropes and handed over to Ranger Kainan who grinned at her.

�Well, it took you a jolly long time to come and rescue me, didn�t it then?� she asked angrily, and headed for the door.

The Orcs grabbed her (as she squealed) and handed her back to Ranger Kainan.

�Now we want the sandwiches.�

�Okay, just after you tell me how to get out of here,� Kainan said, not wanting to go through the dragon room again.

�Just go out through the back door, down that cave there,� an Orc said, pointing. Then he gave Kainan an angry look. �Now give us our sandwiches!�

�Go on then,� Shay prompted. �Give them their ruddy sandwiches and let�s get on with it.�

Kainan glared at her, annoyed with her input, and explained the situation.

�Well, you see, I don�t have enough to go around. There�s� like� a hundred of you��

�A hundred and four!� a little voice shouted from the back. �Typical to forget the short ones!�

�I�ve only got two sandwiches left.�

The Orcs looked at each other bitterly, not wanting to share so little.

�But I can come back with some more if you let us go. I�ll come back with one each for all of you!� he promised grandly.

�Oh, rubbish,� Shay argued beside him. �Where are you going to get all that cheese and marshmallow?�

�Yeah,� an Orc said from nearby, �where are you going to get all that cheese and �mallow?�

�I�m sure the Mayor will pay for it, glad to have his daughter back.�

The Orcs agreed.

So Ranger Kainan took Shay back to her father, earning himself a badge for �Rescuing A Fair Maiden� despite the girl�s protests that he hadn�t rescued her quickly enough, and promptly went to the local dairy farm and ordered a hundred slices of cheese and then to the marshmallow factory to order ten barrels of the white sticky sweet.

A big fire was built on the outskirts of town at Kainan�s request, and nobody was allowed to look. He toasted the marshmallows, made the sandwiches and welcomed the Orcs as they arrived to get their promised feast.

They told him that Prince Abagott had somehow escaped the cuboard with his pet and had disappeared, probably hatching a fiendish plot of some kind. They also told him that he left a note for Ranger Kainan which said that he�d get him back for ruining the Blood Festival.

Ranger Kainan thanked them and then left them alone to eat, because after all, they were Raiders and didn�t like the company of humans.

So Kainan went home and patted his horse on the head, running away when his horse chased him around the stables. He went to bed sleeping with a smile on his face, holding his newly earned badge in his hand.

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