Motivation - 2037
n trying to right the wrongs of society, our government has disposed
of our precious natural resources, mismanaged countless irreplaceable man-
hours, and liquidated our ever vanishing tax dollars. With penal systems fully
a failure at penalizing, and correctional institutions laughably inadequate at
correcting, the honest, hardworking, taxpaying middle class, needs radical
solutions to criminal transgressions. Help! Editor - World News (4 July 97)
i, my name is Sheriff Dennis E. Culpate, although friends just call
me E. After 40 years on the job as a correctional officer, I surely look
forward to retirement, tomorrow! I�m the last of an almost extinct breed of
20th century law enforcement officials. I�ve seen it all over the years to
include, penitentiary�s incorporating entire cities, prisons consuming the land
of otherwise beautiful islands, and stockades being the nucleus of complex
military installations. Thousands of cells, hangers of electric generators,
phone and security systems, hundreds of officers, wardens, weapons, and
more, were never enough to deter crime. Further, full medical, dental,
continuing education, and legal expenditures soaked or more realistically,
raped, the taxpayer clean. That�s how it was, in the good old days, before
the Hats, Motivation, and E.
Kidd, we called him. Nasty, self-centered, with a 19 year old attitude and diabolic looks to match. He had the usual pierced ears, eye, lip, and tongue, but more were the pierced cheeks and the sure give away of the pierced chin, right in the middle. He had all the answers, but only few, of his light greenish teeth. His ever unpleasant aromas, attacked the nostrils like that of the decomposing dead. Kidd�s hair was partially shaved, dyed, and spiked, all in disarray, greasy, oily, rather stomach turning, if you ask me. The taxpayer needed a first. The Hats, the new law enforcers, promised economy and eternity, all at once. Kidd was on the bubble of old versus new justice. Old, for his crime of severely and brutally crippling a poor elderly lady while robbing her handbag, could be up to 40 years. Reduced to 7 � with probation to follow, and than comically reduced further to 3 � years, for good behavior! Kidd knew the old, and with shifty, beady, squinting eyes, laughed in the face, of justice.
All knew the Hats were preparing for new justice and the taxpayers in 2027, celebrated the news, that Kidd would be the first. That was only 10 years ago, and I can still recall every moment. Kidd got his 40 years all right. No jail, no incarceration, not too much of anything. The prior cost of 40 years served to the taxpayer would have been about $1,000,000. That day, the cost was only mere pennies. First, 4 white Hats (also know as virgins or newbies) stomped on the Kidd, and passed him through my DNA machine, which is like the airport x-ray machines of 40 years ago, but with added technology of the new millennium. As Kidd passed through, my DNA machine accepted his perspiration, pulled out his DNA, and posted models of his DNA, and 19 year old body, for my inspection. I then added the 40 year sentence to the models, which triggered the nearby DNA machine we affectionately know as Motivation, to compute new, aged models. Ofcourse these computer models, considered Kidd�s rather weak living habits in it�s calculations. Kidd was still smiling when 3 red Hats, grabbed him and �helped� him through, Motivation. As Kidd absorbed his new programmed DNA, his arrogant and stupid smile was immediately exchanged for a rather meek, harmless, and wrinkled frown. His body drooped about 1 � inches as well, undetermined weight was added to his midsection, and his hair (if that�s what you call it) thinned out, in record time. This happened right in front of my eyes in a matter of seconds. The red Hats, passed Kidd to my good buddy, black Hat one. Black one (he had one stripe on his hat) returned Kidd through my DNA machine where new DNA and body models were posted for my inspection. As the first trained expert on the machine, I knew that in front of me, now stood, a 59 year old man. I put my thumb print on the computer before and after models, and Kidd was released, serving 40 years in just 4 minutes. The taxpayers didn�t even pay for a meal. In - out, justice, the Hat way! News carried quickly, crime dropped dramatically, and repeat offenses were rare, if not nil.
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