Musicians Prose

urke corrected the notes once more as he perfected his newest composition. The inspired song gave him feelings of warmth and excitement. "This could be the one," He thought to himself, " could be a hit." He played it once more on his synthesizer, enjoying the catchy tune.

" I thought you had work to do."

He was so engrossed in the music that he never saw his wife come in.

" Yeah, my new song, you like it?" He replied

" Wasn�t really listening, thought you had real work to do." She said blandly.

" Sorry," He put the music in his desk drawer, " Is there something you need me to do?"

" I thought we were going to have dinner together for a change, but I guess I was wrong."

The venomous sound of her words told him she was furious, she hated his music and anything to do with it. He wished she hadn�t come in and ruined the moment.

" I�ll be right there, Anne." He said calmly.

As his wife walked out of the room, he wondered if she could see the hatred in his eyes. He knew she hated the thought of being married to a musician, but when she married him that�s what he was. And now, after so many years, she expected him to forget his dream and ignore his heart.

He locked up his desk, turned off the synthesizer and left the den.

Through dinner Anne barely said a word, Burke wondered why he even bothered to eat with her. Her company left a lot to be desired when she was in a mood like this, he wished she�d get over it.

" Do you plan on working tomorrow?"

" Of course I do." He said.

There was more silence, he could see the rising anger in what few words she said, he knew it was about to erupt.

" Why do you insist on writing songs that will never get heard?" She said coldly, " Why can�t you just concentrate on the things that have proven themselves instead of following the rainbow?"

" Music is my hobby, I do it because I enjoy it�not because I expect it to pay off." He said.

" Every time you think you have a winning song, you put off the rest of your life for it and I�m tired of the things we need being put off for the things you want."

" Let�s not get into this, Anne, it�s a carousel that never stops and I�m getting dizzy from it."

He got up and put his plate in the dishwasher.

" Fine, Obviously you don�t care what I have to say," Anne snapped. She threw her plate in the sink and walked out of the room.

Burke hated these conflicts, she just refused to understand his feelings about music.

He used to run after her when she�d get mad like this, but he no longer felt it would help. Her feelings wouldn�t change no matter what he did, so he just let her go.

The shrill ringing awoke them both, Burke answered drearily, " Hello?"

" Hi love, it�s me," The female voice said, " Sorry if I woke you."

" Hold on," He said quickly as he carried the portable phone to the den. " Why are you calling me here? It�s 3:30 in the morning, she�s definitely gonna question this."

" Sorry, I had to. It�s important, I just found out they�re looking for sax players for the new orchestra that�s forming here."

" Great," He said with a disappointed tone, " and what good does that do me?"

" Come to Chicago, Burke, this is the chance to live your dream."

" Who is it?" Anne asked as she walked into the den.

" Just Jim, one of our clients house was vandalized," He answered.

" Damn, think he called late enough?" She said sarcastically as she walked back to their room.

" Look, Kris, I really can�t talk about this now, I�ll call you when I can. Bye."

He turned off the portable phone and went back to bed.

As he lay beside Anne�s nude body he felt her hand traveling up his leg. She began to kiss him softly and she whispered in his ear, " Let�s make love." His body responded to her warm touch. He kissed her and caressed her smooth skin.

The taste and smell of her sweet sensuality brought him to a warm inviting place.

As they rocked together, his mind traveled to a far away place where the warmth that enveloped him now, defined his life.

He was pulled back to reality by the passionate cries that echoed from her soul.

Finally satisfied, they lay together in a tight embrace.

When he was sure she was in a deep sleep, he went to his den. Through their lovemaking session, all he could think of was being somewhere else, his fantasies, not his wife, satisfied him. He pulled the music from the desk drawer and examined it. " Come to Chicago, Burke�.," he heard it over and over.

He wondered if he actually had a chance at getting into the orchestra but then dismissed it as fantasy.

Maybe Anne was right, maybe he should just forget music. If after all this time he still didn�t have a hit, maybe he just didn�t have what it took to be a musician.

But as this argument continued in his mind, he started playing the tune he had written earlier, and he realized something different, something he had never before included in a song was there. Soul, the tune had a soul and he could hear it. It gave it life and in his mind he could see the notes dancing in a rhythmic cadence, twirling and tapping to each rise and fall. Yes, this song was different and it was meant to be heard by others.

As Burke shut the door to his office, he asked his secretary to hold all calls, " I have an important case to take care of," He said.

Securely inside his private space, he dialed his friend in Chicago. He had known Kris for several years and had begun to love her recently when they had spent some special time alone in a ski resort. They had much in common, unlike he and his wife, and at first had agreed to keep their affair as just that, but little did he know, she was easy to fall in love with and he had fought those feelings off time and time again. He wasn�t about to fight them off again, it was becoming more obvious that he and his wife would never agree where the music in his life belonged and given the choice between her and the music, music won hands down. Not that he didn�t love Anne, they had been married for 15 years, of course he loved her. But they had nothing in common, their sameness had dissipated long ago and like steam on a lake, it wasn�t coming back.

He relaxed comfortably on the leather chair and as he waited for Kris to answer, he doodled on the notepad in front of him.

" Hello?" Kris answered.

" Hi Babe, sorry about this morning, Anne walked in."

" I�m sorry I called so late, didn�t mean to upset you."

" No, don�t worry, you didn�t," He said as he doodled squares and hearts, " So tell me about this orchestra."

" The auditions are next week for sax players, I know you�re good enough, and if you made it�"

" Anne wouldn�t go for it." He said quickly.

Burke could almost hear the disappointment in her voice, " Burke, please, it�s your dream�she wouldn�t complain if you were a paid sax player in an illustrious orchestra."

" No, she wouldn�t complain, she�d just file for divorce."

" She�d do that just because you followed a dream that came true?"

" You�re a dream that came true," He said, trying desperately to change the subject.

" Thank you Love, now would you please just try�find an excuse to come here. Give your dream a chance huh?"

" What would I do without you?"

" Ignore your dreams." She said matter-of-factly.

" I�ll call you later, hon."

" Good, I�ll be here getting the guest room ready." She giggled.

Burke couldn�t help but smile as he hung up the phone, Kris never took no for an answer especially if she knew the answer should be yes. And he did like the idea of spending some time with her, in fact, he wished he could spend all of his time with her. But that damn comfort zone just wouldn�t let him, it would be such a hassle to get a divorce, all that hatred, sadness and disappointment. And how could he tell Anne he just didn�t love her anymore? He would feel like a heel. And what if she found out about the affair he and Kris had been having? That would be downright dangerous, she�d take him for everything. Not to mention their families, how could he tell the solid Roman Catholic, never divorce no matter what, till death do you part families? God what a mess that would be. But, the thought was still there, life was too short and with a mental garbage can already full of discarded dreams , he knew the last two would somehow find a way to come true.

" You�re going where?" Anne said shrilly.

" Chicago," Burke replied, " Sorry but I have to, Jim can�t make the meeting and they need me to do it."

" I can�t believe this," She said, " My speech is next week, I really needed you to be there."

" Sorry, hon, I know you�re disappointed." He tried to sound honest, but in some sick place in his mind he felt triumphant, now she knew what it felt like to have your dreams interrupted.

" I can try to reschedule it, when should I set it for?" She said.

" No, hon, don�t reschedule, you�ve worked so hard on this, just go on and give the speech, you�ll do great."

" All right, I guess I could, just thought you�d want to be there to see my dream come true."

Ironic that she should say such a thing, he thought silently, how ironic.

Later that night, when Anne was sound asleep, he once again played the tune he wrote. He named it "Musicians Prose" a title he came up with in his sleep. The tune spoke better than any book he had ever read, and had much more life than any poetry, it was a Musicians Prose. And now that it was finished, he made a plan to play it with some friends for the audition. Since he would have to play the sax for the audition and he wanted Musicians Prose to be heard, he would orchestrate it for a group of musicians he had known since college. Then he would play a solo, to show off his talent with an alto sax, just the thought of playing his beloved music made him giddy, he couldn�t wait for the audition. He stayed up all night working on the orchestration. He wished he could call Kris, to let her know how excited he was, but he didn�t dare call from home, he didn�t want to risk being caught. But he loved to hear her voice when he talked of his music, the happiness in it was far different than the venomous tone of his wife who expected his dreams and loves not to exist. When the bluish orange streaks began to appear in the clouds, he was finally finished. He went to bed satisfied and exhausted and his dreams were of the notes rising and falling in a crescendo of lights and sound as he and Kris danced in the ballroom of imagination.

Kris was at the gate to meet him in Chicago. They kissed in a tight embrace. " I knew you�d find a way." Kris said.

" I knew you wouldn�t take no for an answer." Burke smiled.

They walked hand in hand to the baggage claim and out to the car.

"I�m so glad to see you," Burke grinned, " I missed our time together."

" Not as much as I did." She said as she squeezed his hand.

They chatted as Kris drove the car through the cement jungle of Chicago and into the quieter suburbs.

They passed by children riding bikes and playing ball, and families enjoying their quality times together.

He felt like he was home when they pulled into the driveway of the blue and white shuttered house that he had so often spent stolen moments alone with Kris in.

Once unpacked he and Kris got comfortable on the overstuffed couch and talked of the audition. He told her he had written a new song, and reveled in her excitement to hear it. He told her of the dreams and of the soul he felt when he played the new tune and she begged him to play it for her. He explained the orchestration and that he had been in touch with his friends from college to help with it. Kris told him she wanted to go to the audition, to hear his new song and to see him finally attempt to make his dreams come true, and at that moment, he fell madly, passionately in love with her. His wife would never agree to see an audition, let alone care to hear his music. He realized the gift that Kris gave him was the gift of expression and appreciation that his wife had never unwrapped.

As the day turned to night, Burke and Kris sat on the deck in her back yard watching the stars come to life.

With her feet on his lap and his hand on her leg, Burke had never before felt so complete. The crickets chirped in harmony and every once in a while they could hear a mockingbird chirping before it went to sleep.

" This is paradise," Burke said.

"Yes, it is�I miss you so when you�re gone."

"And I miss you, but if I make the orchestra�"

" If you make the orchestra, your wife will live in Chicago with you and we�ll never get to spend time like this." The reply surprised even Kris, she knew her feelings were going towards love but had no idea she felt that strongly about it,

The thought of not having time with Kris was torture to Burke, though he wanted to keep it as just an affair at first, now it was much more to him.

" No," He said, " I couldn�t handle that, you are so much to me�." Then he trailed off, afraid to scare her with his next statement.

He took her face in his hands softly and kissed her eyelids. His warm lips trailed down to hers and they kissed passionately. Her hands stroked his soft hair as they entwined in a burning orb of love.

He laid her along the chaise lounge with the soft cushions and let the sweet feel of her bare skin invite him to a wondrous place. He enjoyed the feel of her lips on his skin and the touch of her hands running through his hair. Warmness and wetness enveloped them both as their breathing became one. He held her tight as he kissed her sweetness and lived in the wonder of it. Together they cried in passion, a synchronized dance of love that was performed only for the two of them. They slept cradled in each others arms, as the crickets chirped and the mockingbirds slept.

Kris accompanied Burke to the audition and watched as he played "Musicians Prose" to the judges. The orchestration went off without a hitch, but after the audition, they would have to wait a day of so to get the results. Burke didn�t seem worried about it, he was enjoying his time together with Kris and not looking forward to going home.

As they ate Chinese in front of the television, Burke suddenly looked deep in thought.

" What�s wrong, hon?" Kris asked him.

" I don�t want to go home." He replied.

" You never do," She said, " And I never want you to."

" No, I mean this is different�.I really don�t want to go home." He said, " I want to be with you forever, I can�t handle being away from you anymore. Kris��.I love you."

He looked down shyly, afraid he had scared her.

Kris squealed with delight, ecstatic to finally hear the words she had wanted to hear him say for so long.

" Oh Burke, I love you too." She smiled and kissed him softly.

" Now what do we do about my wife?" He chuckled.

" Whatever it is, we can handle it together."

The next morning the phone rang, it was the conductor for the orchestra. The bad news was that Burke didn�t make the orchestra, but the good news was that a recording executive had been at the audition and loved " Musicians Prose". He wanted to make Burke part of his song writing team in Chicago and offered him a great deal of money as well as a contract for using the song as part of a new television series.

When Burke returned home and told Anne of his accomplishment, she was flabbergasted. She told him she wanted a divorce and their separation was amicable. He moved to Chicago, where he and Kris enjoyed living the dream that he had always dreamed and the Musicians Prose accompanied them.

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