Naked
atrick McCann stepped quickly off of 42nd street, moving with
his head down through the peep-show doors, hoping no one saw him
enter. Once inside, he walked down two flights of dark, dirty water
smelling steps to where the naked dancers waited in little rooms for his
dollars.
He was a substitute teacher in the New York public schools. Today, he was not called in to teach the poor kids in over crowded classrooms, so he had the day to wander the city, and think about his future. Think about how he hadn�t been with a woman in a whole year since his wife up and left with a shoe salesman. A friend no less, who was showing her the new Fall Italian line. "Makes no sense,� is all Patrick would say to himself. �A shoe salesman.�
When he entered the small room and placed his dollar in the slot, a small window opened onto a large, black woman sitting on a chair naked. She looked up at him with vacant eyes, and then spread her legs. �Five dollars, honey, you get to touch it.�
Patrick stared at the naked women as the small window closed on him. He walked to the next room and placed another dollar in a slot. A skinny, blond women was slowly dancing around a small room. She seemed profoundly sad, like a dancing bear who had long ago given up believing in freedom. Patrick didn�t even wait for the window to close to walk to the next room. He didn�t know what he was doing in this place. He figured it was just loneliness. When he placed the dollar in the next slot, the small window opened onto a small, pretty, dark-skinned girl sitting naked on the floor. She had her head down. Her long, black hair covering her face like a mask. She slowly lifted her face towards Patrick when the window opened, and then both of them stared at each other�the substitute teacher, and Maria, his student from his fifth period English class.
For a moment Patrick felt profoundly shameful, the kind of shame he felt when his wife walked out on him. A river of heavy emotions pulling him in many directions. Maria slowly stood up and walked towards the familiar face staring at her from the dark, small window.
�No teaching today, Teach? What�s a matter, you need a little fun?�
The window closed on Patrick. He stood in the dark for a moment not knowing what to do. Then he searched through his pocket for another dollar. He found one, placing it in the small shot. The window opened onto Maria standing there naked in front of him. She was not embarrassed to stand there. She seemed to enjoy her nakedness, and watched his confusion with wonder.
�Maria, what are you doing in this place?�
She walked up close to him, her small perfectly shaped breasts almost touching him through the window.
I�m making money, Teach. Making more money in a day then you probably make in a week.�
�But you don�t want this, Maria!�
Maria walked away from him and circled the small room she was in. Patrick could hear a man moan in the room next to him. The window closed. He placed his last single dollar into the slot. The window opened again. This time is saw Maria in the far corner of the room getting dressed. He imagined her dressing to go to school in the morning, leaving her small apartment in Spanish Harlem.
�Are you stopping now?� Patrick asked her.
�Yes.�
�I want to talk to you, Maria. Meet me outside. There�s a coffee shop on 43rd street.�
Marie walked up to the window. She touched Patrick�s hand in a slow, sensual way.
�It will cost you twenty dollars an hour, � she said, wetting her lips.
The window closed.
Patrick met Maria outside on 42nd street. He realized looking at her that though she was only sixteen, she could be a woman of twenty- five with the flick of her hair, or the half-closing of her eyes. She had grown up too fast. They walked the two blocks to the coffee shop. The lunch time crowd was emptying out going back to work. They found a booth in the back. Maria ordered a sandwich and a coke. Patrick had the same.
�Maria, I don�t want to tell you what to do, but this is no good. I mean working in that place. You can find other work to make money. You are belittling yourself.�
Maria sipped her coke and studied Patrick.
�Teach, I made two hundred dollars in tips this morning. On a Friday night there I can make five hundred dollars.
�But look what you�re doing, Maria!�
Maria leaned towards him, her perfume surrounding him.
�Look what you�re doing there, Teach. You come there to get some kind of release. You�re lonely and you need to make believe in your head that girls like me want to be with you. So then you go home and get yourself off in the dark, thinking of me, and bang, it starts all over again for you.�
�I�m an adult, Maria, you�re a girl still.�
�Only in years are you older then me. Besides, if it wasn�t me in that booth this morning, if it had been some other young girl you wanted to do something with, you wouldn�t care. I ain�t working at no fuck�n McDonalds, Teach. That�s nowhere.�
�Don�t say ain�t, Maria.�
The waiter came and placed their food in front of them. Maria took a bite of her sandwich and stared out the restaurant window onto 43rd street.
�It�s dangerous in those places, Maria. They are all owned by dangerous men. It�s a known fact that the mob is involved in running these joints.�
Maria took a drink of her soda.
�If I said right now, Teach, that for twenty dollars I�d take you somewhere and give you the blowjob of your life, would you go?�
Patrick studied the dark, beautiful eyes of Maria. He realized at that moment that trying to save this girl had something to do with his wife walking out on him. That she was there to be saved, in the classroom or out.
�Well?�
�No, I wouldn�t.�
�Why, you don�t find me sexy?�
�I wouldn�t, because it�s morally wrong, and I would be hurting you.�
�Maria sucked on her straw.
�So, what happened to you, Teach?� Don�t you have a women in your life?�
�I had one, she left.�
�So get another one. You�re a good looking guy, Teach. No reason for you being in peep shows getting off on girls like me. What you need is some companionship, get your thing taken care of once in a while. That�s what all those men need who come to stare at me, you can see it in their eyes. They all think I�m going to take care of their loneliness.
�Maria, are you still making school, I didn�t see you there last week?�
�Shit, yeah. This is just for money.�
They sat there quiet for a while. Each staring at each other in their own little world. He thought that he could threaten her with telling someone at school, some half-ass administrator, if she didn�t give up working at the place. But, he knew it wouldn�t matter, and probably she would just drop out of school.
�She left you, didn�t she?� Maria said suddenly.
Patrick felt tears move to his eyes. He lowered his head so she couldn�t see him cry. She reached her hand across the table and touched his hand.
�It will be okay, You got to find someone new. You got to find a way to make yourself feel better.�
Patrick, the thirty-five-year-old, school teacher, squeezed the hand of his sixteen-year-old-student, then let go.
I want you to do well, Maria. You are one of the smartest kids in my English class. Life is hard, that is just a fact. But, what you are getting into now, will just make it harder in the long run for you.�
�Teach, we both have lessons to learn here. I�m only doing this until I graduate from high school. Then, I�m taking the money I save from this job, and getting away from this city and going to college.�
Outside on 43rd street, a homeless man cursed the sky.
�Do you really think I can find someone again, Maria?�
�Teach, you�re a winner. You just got to get out there again and take your chances.�
The waiter, an old man, dropped their check in front of Patrick. He gave them both stares as if trying to figure out what their relationship was, then he walked back to his burning cigarette. Maria stood up and got ready to leave.
�I got to go now, Teach. You take care of yourself.�
Patrick held her hand for a moment, then felt her pull it away.
�I want to see you in school soon, you got to do the right thing, Maria.�
�I�ll be there, Teach, I learn a lot from you.�
Maria turned and walked towards the front door. It was then that he felt the twenty dollars he was going to give to her in his pocket. Going to give to her for her time.
�Maria, the twenty dollars?�
She turned just as she reached the front of the restaurant.
�Spend it on your new girlfriend, Teach,� then walked out of the restaurant.
Patrick ordered another cup of coffee, watched Maria cross 43rd street, back towards the place where she worked, and then wondered what he should do with the rest of his day.
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