Short Christmas
t was travelling much too fast to be detected. The ship wasn't built for
atmospheric travel, but it didn't matter, it probably wouldn't survive the
crash.
"Yahoo, give me our position, speed and trajectory."
"Captain Hawksblood, our position is point one light minute from the edge of this solar system, point 2 lightspeed, 3 6 0, 1 1 5 Mark 2 2 5. And I am computerized artificial intelligence Y-A-H-Zero-Zero, not 'Yahoo'."
"Right, we're going too fast to escape the gravity well in this system, it looks like we're going to crash on the third planet, and you don't like your name, great."
"Yah uh, Y-A-H-Zero-Zero where the heck are we're going to hit, and what are all these old fashioned detection devices on screen?"
"Radar, Captain Hawksblood, it is a facility called NORAD, and we're going to crash in a city called Colorado Springs in a state called Colorado in the United States of America, North American Continent, planet earth, happy?"
"Overjoyed, give me a systems check Yahoo what is that!?"
"It's a mountain called Pikes Peak. We will miss crashing into the summit by 91 centimeters, that's 3 feet to you."
"Yahoo dampen the inertial thrusters, is our anti scanning jammer operational, give me a systems check, apply 60 degrees of thrust, give me a count to impact, is the environment acceptable, calculate probable damage."
"Thrusters controlled, anti scanning jamming, we are invisible to humanoid senses and systems, all systems red, thrust applied, environment is tolerable, damage will be medial, approximately 10 seconds to impact, we're in big trouble, anything else, Captain?"
"Yeah, hang on, we're going in!"
"Not Agaaaaaaaiiiiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnn."
Sarah was standing near the building when she felt the ground jump, heard a roar, felt a strong wind brush past her, then silence.
"Yahoo, are we down? Where are we?"
"Well what do you think? Captain, I hate it when you do this. We are in the city of Colorado Springs, to be precise on a street called Tejon, that's Tay-hone. You aren't going outside, are you? There is an indigenous lifeform 3 meters, one-eight zero, zero, mark one eight zero."
"What?"
"Captain, there is a female humanoid about 9 feet from the ship."
"Oh, OK, open the port hatch. And while I'm outside, fix that transtator, we can't keep crashing like this."
Sarah knew she was old, but when the man appeared out of thin air, she suspected that she might be getting senile, like some of the others at the old hotel.
Anthem Hawksblood is about 44 years old by earth standards, or Antarean standards, by anybodies standards he is a master of harebrained schemes and goofy ideas. He is wanted by the authorities on several worlds, and his ship violates most safety regulations in 16 solar systems. Hawksblood is average looking and he wears an old beat up leather pilots jacket. There's nothing really special about his appearance, most people think they've met him somewhere before, even if they haven't.
But he has something he gives beings he meets, something the authorities on 53 worlds can't take from him.
"Hi, I'm Hawksblood, cold out here, this moisture falling from the sky it's called snow, right?"
"Hello, my name is Sarah, it is cold tonight, and yes that moisture falling from the sky is snow and since tonight is Christmas Eve, it appears that we will have a white Christmas."
"Sarah, excuse me for asking, but, what are you doing out here in the yard of this rather ancient looking building?"
"Mr. Hawksblood, this is the Pioneers Museum and excuse me but either I am going senile or you seemed to have appeared out of thin air."
"Sarah , can you keep a secret?"
"I am a lady and a lady can always keep a secret Mr. Hawksblood?"
"Actually it's Captain Hawksblood, and my spaceship, The Armageddon, just crashed on the lawn of your Pioneers Museum, transtator warp drive problems, got to get new parts one of these days. Right now the ship's invisible. And you didn't tell me why you're out here in the cold, Sarah ."
"Captain Hawksblood I am old, not crazy. I have read science fiction books since I was a young girl, and you don't look much like a spaceship captain. Oh well, never mind. I am here because earlier today when I was visiting the museum and I lost my gold locket and it seems like all I've got left. I think I lost it out here on the lawn."
"Do you mind if I try to find it? Yahoo, scan for a gold locket, probably on the lawn."
"Six meters to your right then 1 meter left, Captain."
Hawksblood walked over reached down and lifted a gold locket and chain out of the snow. He handed it to Sarah.
"Here you are. Sarah what did you mean that this locket is all you have left?"
"Captain Hawksblood, I don't know how you did that, but thank you. I live in a pensioners hotel, that's a hotel for old people, just up Tejon Street.
The day after Christmas it will be sold and all of the other old people and I will have to move out. Some of us have lived there most of our lifetimes."
"Sarah, people have to live somewhere, what would it take for you and your friends to keep living there?"
"Why, I suppose we'd have to buy the old hotel, but Captain we don't have that kind of money."
"Sarah, we found the locket, we can find the money."
Hawksblood and Sarah walked up Tejon Street, it was early Christmas Eve and they could hear the sound of distant music. Hawksblood asked her where they could find a radio station. Sarah told him there was a radio station further up Tejon Street across from the college campus. After they had walked several blocks they saw the tree lined campus, and the small radio station. They knocked on the door. A college student came to the door and asked them what they wanted.
"Hi, I'm Captain Hawksblood from the ICA and this is Sarah, we need to talk to you."
The college disc jockey had never heard of the ICA (Interstellar Captains Association, Hawksblood's dues had lapsed about the time his membership was revoked) but Hawksblood sounded intimidating so he let them into the studio.
"We just need about 1 minute of air time, special broadcast, ICA business you know. Yahoo stand by to intercept this radio broadcast, boost the signal and transmit on all frequencies including television, oh yeah, and turn on any radios or televisions that are off."
"Captain, this is probably illegal. There are regulations regarding this sort of thing, the FCC I believe it's called. This is the sort of activity we are being pursued for."
"Y-A-H-Zero-Zero there are no regulations regarding alien spaceship computers boosting the signal, are there?"
"No Captain, 10 seconds to signal boost."
"OK kid, lets do it."
The disc jockey handed Hawksblood the microphone and flipped the on air switch.
"It would be terrible to be old and to lose your home, it would be terrible to be old and be hungry. The day after Christmas all the old people in the pensioners hotel on Tejon Street will be without their home. These people don't want charity, but you know what, old people know the secret of success, and you know what, if you were to go to the old hotel and help them out, I think they'd tell you what the secret is."
"Thanks kid, Sarah lets get you home."
"Captain Hawksblood, I'm not sure we know this secret you spoke of."
"Sarah, I'm going to write it down for you, and tomorrow when the people come, you just whisper it in their ear. "
That was the strangest Christmas Day in Colorado Springs, people were lined up for blocks waiting to get into the old hotel. They brought more than enough money and walked out with smiles on their faces. Hawksblood gave Sarah the one thing the authorities on 53 worlds could never take away from him. The old people inside whispered the seven words Hawksblood had written down for Sarah, "Always be positive and never give up."
"What's the local time Yahoo?"
"It is 12:04 PM Captain."
"Lets blow this solar system, and Yahoo, just what is Christmas?"
"Captain, with you, everyday is Christmas."
